Tammy Thompson Takes on the Upside Down
by Ridea
Summary: AKA How Hawkins Got Its Groove Back...kicking and screaming... Everyone asks - what would you do if you could change how the story goes...but what if you don't know the story?
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I cannot tell you how excited I am to share this with all of you. I had a lot of fun writing it and I am currently chapters and chapters ahead of my posting it. I really hope you enjoy this as much as we have.

Thank you especially to Ellie. I could not have done this without you and you have no idea how much your support and help has meant to me.

**Chapter One**

Waking up hurt more than usual. Normally if I hadn't gotten enough sleep I'd wake up with a headache and a large urge to stay in my bed. This felt like I had been hit by a truck. Or that I did a triathlon without any training.

I rolled over, trying to get away from the sun that was beaming into the room. Everything hurt even more and as I moved my stomach clenched. I felt myself bolting up, ignoring the pain as I reached for the garbage can that should have been next to my bed. I hit a night stand instead. I forced my eyes open, catching sight of the can across the room almost instantly. I moved without thinking, praying that I got there before I threw up. Saliva accumulated in my mouth bringing that feeling that throwing up was imminent. My body tangled in the sheets as I dove off the bed. I hit the ground hard and before I could stop myself, I threw up all over the carpet. I didn't even have a carpet.

I pushed back my hair. Was it shorter? I cringed at the vomit in it. What the hell happened last night? "Honey?" There was a knock at the door. "Are you alright?" I blearily looked up at the woman as she opened the door. "Oh my god! Tammy!" The woman dove forwards and knelt at my side. Who the fuck was she? And why was she touching me? I tried to pull back and hit my head on the nightstand behind me. "Baby, are you okay?" She grabbed my arm. "Here let me help you. Get back into bed. I'll call the school to tell them you're sick...and get this cleaned up. I'll bring you a bowl."

I struggled to get up and it was only with her help that I was able to get back in the bed. When she left to get the bowl, I looked around. Where the hell was I? The room was pink. There were posters on the wall including Madonna and what looked like George Michael. My head pounded. I stared at the wall for what felt like ages until the woman came back with a bowl. Where the fuck was I?

"I called the school," the woman said as she walked in. "You'll stay home today. Hopefully it's just a stomach bug."

I stared at her confused. "School?" I hadn't gone to school in years. Not since I graduated university.

"Yeah, honey." She sat down beside me on the bed. "School. Don't worry, I'll be home. You call me with whatever you need. Okay?"

I nodded at her. She needed to leave so I could figure this out.

"I'm going to get this cleaned up." She looked at me and glanced at my hair. "I'll bring you a washcloth." I watched her go, trembling and trying to hold on to what little control I had left. I felt like I had been run over and thrown around like I was a dog's chew toy. I was in a room that wasn't mine. Some woman was calling me honey and baby and _Tammy_. And apparently I had school. Something was very _very _wrong.

I was right.

I stared at my reflection in the mirror. Except it wasn't me. Sure, it made all the faces I was making. The reflection stuck out its tongue at the same time as I did, but it wasn't me. I was an average height woman with large thighs, stomach and breasts and a hip to ankle ratio that could make men weep if I really tried. My reflection was not. The girl, and that was the only way to describe her, was taller than I was. Thinner. She had some curves but she was exactly what I said she was. A girl. She looked like she was in her late teens. What the fuck.

I felt like screaming. I felt like screaming at the top of my lungs and demanding my body back. What the hell happened? And where was I?

I felt a panic attack starting. My chest tightened and breathing was getting difficult. The hairs on my arms stood up with goosebumps and I broke out into a cold sweat. It was like I had a fever. I tried to focus, to calm down and settle myself somehow. I focused on the Wham! poster on the wall. It wasn't working. I felt like I was going to be sick.

It would have been one thing to wake up in a stranger's house after a night out, likely one filled with mistakes, but I had been awake, hadn't I? Before I woke up here. I was at work and was on my way to meet some recruiters for lunch. Right? So how had I ended up here? And where was here? I threw up again.

I generally prided myself to be a logical and intelligent person. Those qualities didn't seem to be helping right now. Each time I caught sight of myself in the mirror, I thought there was a stranger in the room with me. I nearly jumped out of my skin every time. I looked around the room. There had to be something that told me where I was and who I was inhabiting.

My search didn't uncover more than some vinyls and cassettes. Who the hell even had these anymore? Hipsters? There were a few books on the shelves but mostly knickknacks on the desk. Small things. Weird ticket stubs to movies, some that I recognized and others that I didn't. Polaroid photos of friends. Definitely a hipster at this rate, or she was doing some focused project on the 80's or early 90's. I hadn't even seen these in years, not outside of ads and Instagram filters.

It was becoming more apparent that I was nowhere near home, the more I looked around. I hadn't seen any sign of a computer, a laptop or even a cell phone. Who doesn't have a cellphone? At least if I got a computer I could check the IP address or more likely check google to see where it thought I was. Maybe this girl was already signed into social media which would be a huge help. Unfortunately, all I found was a diary. God, was I stuck with Mormons? Or a cult? Maybe I was brainwashed into not remembering! How was I going to get...I stopped myself from spiraling further into my imagination. There was no point in making things worse and having another panic attack without any facts. I opened the diary.

_Dear Diary,_

_My name is Tammy Thomspon. Im 7 years old and got you for my birtday! We live in Hawkins and I live with my mom and my dad! I'm going to write in you every day! _

She did not. The entries were sporadic but she did keep at it for years. It was a little impressive. She did not date the entries though, because of course not. It couldn't be that easy.

_Diary,_

_ I know I haven't been writing but so much has happened! I'm going to high school! Maybe this will finally be the year that Steve sees me! God, I hope so. My dreams of Tommy H and Carol moving suddenly has yet to happen, but it doesn't matter. I have a plan! Once I'm done high school (and marrying Steve), I'm going to Nashville! I'm going to be a star!_

It continued like that. From what I read, Tammy was a dreamer. A hopeful idealistic girl who just wanted to make her mark. She seemed to think it would be through singing. There were tapes. Tammy was determined enough to record herself singing. It was awful. She was stretching her voice too high. Sounded like she was trying hard to be Barbara Streisand. She was more suited for Joan Jett, or that singer who used to be in Gossip Girl.

One other thing I learned was the date, or at least, an idea of the date. She dated the last entry, the one about Steve and starting high school, as **1981**.

I shut the book instantly. It wasn't possible. It couldn't be. There was no feasible way that I not only body swapped into someone in another country, but time travelled as well. Panic welled up in me. I needed to get out. I needed to go and get home and get out.

A knock sounded at the door, cutting through my thoughts, and I scrambled to climb back into the bed. Jesus. This girls bed felt like it was ten feet off the ground. It's a wonder I didn't break my neck falling off.

The woman walked in, this time holding a glass. "I brought you some Vernors. Are you feeling better?" What the hell was Vernors?

I nodded and accepted the glass. It looked like ginger ale, smelled like it too. "Yeah, thanks."

She leaned forward and brushed some of my hair back. "Is it just nerves? I remember when I started senior year. It was terrifying but exciting. I met your father in high school, you know?"

I stared at her. I couldn't stop myself from watching this woman wide eyed. She had just given me a date and confirmed the fact that this girl was in high school. God, that meant I was in high school. Like I didn't have enough of that when I did it myself. I went over in my head what I knew about the US school system. Senior was equal to grade 12 in Canada. Fuck. That was another problem. I grew up using the metric system, not the US one.

The woman laughed. "Don't worry, I won't tease you further. I'm going shopping before your father and I go out." She leaned forward and kissed my forehead, or Tammy's forehead. I froze. "Love you. Feel better."

I watched her walk away. What would she say if she knew I wasn't her daughter? How could I explain that? And what the hell happened to the real Tammy? I dug my finger into the bruise on my arm that grew from hitting the night table. It still felt real.

I got up quickly and kept searching. I needed to go home. I...I was in the past, sure, and totally not myself, but I needed to get home. Since I was stuck in the States, I needed a passport to get there. I had to find Tammy's...and convince my mother I was real. I wasn't even born yet. God, there was no way my mother would even believe me. She was a practical woman who put the minimal effort into taking care of me when I was sick and just made sure I had what I needed. She wasn't prone to flights of fancy or fantasy. She'd never believe me. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.

The longer I was here, the more complicated everything seemed to be getting. I flung myself back in the bed and burst into tears. Maybe if I passed out, crying myself to sleep, I'd wake up at home and this would be a bad dream. This was too much. 

I woke up in the middle of the night.

In the dark, I could pretend that the room was mine. At least until I fell off the bed while trying to get off of it. I turned on the light and stared at my reflection again. It wasn't me. She moved the same way I did. It just didn't look like me. As weird as it sounded, she didn't feel like me. I felt like an intruder. Like a demon from that show Supernatural. I couldn't feel anyone else in my mind, which made me wonder, what happened to her. Why was I here?

I stared at the mirror before I turned away. I was half tempted to cover it but that would likely raise questions. First things first. I had to figure out who the hell Tammy was so I could impersonate her enough to find my way out of here, out of her.

I scoured every part of her room. I tried to memorize her friends and thanked god Tammy wrote names on the backs of photos. I read every inch of any diary or writing I could find. Even old school assignments that she kept for some reason. She was a pretty average kid. Her handwriting was perfect, but my writing looked like a doctors when I wrote fast enough so anything looked good to me. She looked like she was getting mainly Bs and Cs. Probably because she was so focused on her singing, she didn't seem to apply the same drive to the rest of her schooling.

The clothes in the closet told me another story.

"Oh honey, no," I muttered. It was an atrocity. The fashion in the 80s was filled with colours and contradictions. Tammy's closet seemed to hold the worst of it. None of it seemed well suited to her. The clothes didn't fit properly from what I could tell. They looked like they were too short and a weird mixture of tight and baggy. It was all the typical tragedy of unpopular teens, no matter what decade. If anything, I made a mental note that before I left I'd ensure she had a decent selection. A small payback for accidentally taking her over, along with better grades if I really had to do school over.

Since it was likely that I would actually have to go to school tomorrow, I had to find an outfit that worked. At least one that didn't look too awful. One had to blend in, at least to make sure I didn't draw too much attention. I looked back at the closet. Staying in her outfits would probably let me basically disappear in the crowd. I wasn't sure I could subject either of us to it though. I had a headache thinking about it.

I chose flared jeans and a slightly tighter shirt. It was a size small. I didn't think I had ever fit into a size small in my entire life. I threw on an oversized sweater over it, ignoring the familiar feeling of wanting to hide. It really was just like high school all over again and I hadn't even gone yet.

I sat outside and watched the sunrise on the porch. The street was silent. Hawkins must be a small town. It was weird. I was used to hearing the sounds of traffic, of people constantly walking by. It just made everything worse somehow. It felt like I was alone.

I couldn't stop myself. I started crying. It wasn't fair. I was supposed to be at home, maybe on a date with a man who would pretend that he wasn't intimidated by the fact I was more successful than him. We'd have some mediocre sex and I'd kick him out so I could sleep alone before I had to wake up and go back to work. I shouldn't be possessing some kid. It wasn't possible. It shouldn't be possible. I just wanted to go home. I wanted _my_ mom.

I kept crying.

"Have a good day! Call me if you feel sick again!"

I waved off Tammy's mother as I turned and faced the school. It was a single story building. Gods, this was a small town. No time like the present, I guessed, and made my way forward. It was only as I stepped into the main foyer that I realized something. They had lockers. Tammy had a locker and I had no idea where it was. As a matter of fact, I had no idea what her schedule was. What if there were assigned seats?

I turned, ready to walk out and skip. Tammy could handle one day off. Or two. Whatever. I was nowhere near ready for this.

"Hey! Tammy! Where are you going?"

I almost didn't stop, but the fact that whoever was calling Tammy sounded like she knew her well.

I forced myself to turn around, ignoring the voice in my head that was screaming at me that this was a bad idea. The girl waving at me was recognizable. She was from one of the pictures in Tammy's room. Abby, or was it Ally? I walked up to her and smiled while praying to any god that heard me that I'd make it through this.

"Hey," I said.

"Like, where were you yesterday?" Abby asked. I couldn't stop staring at her hair. It came down to her jaw but she had teased it so much that it almost looked like a halo around her head.

"Sick," I said.

"Ew. You're better now, right?" Once I nodded, the girl grabbed my hand, "Great! You won't believe what Tommy H. and Carol were fighting about yesterday! Come on! We're going to be late for homeroom!"

I pulled my hand back. "You go ahead," I said. "I gotta go to the office."

"Why?"

I shrugged. "I missed something yesterday." I waved her off and headed down the hall.

"Tammy!" Her voice called me back. I looked back and she was staring at me confused. "The office is that way…" she pointed to the hall on my left.

"Obviously," I called back, striding down the hall quickly if only to get away from the mean child. Christ. This was worse than I thought.

I strode up to the secretary's counter. I could do this. One doesn't get through university and end up a recruiter without successfully learning how to bullshit. It took a few moments before they even realized I was there.

"Can I help you…?" The older woman asked. I wasn't sure if it was a good thing or not that she didn't recognize Tammy on sight.

"Yes, ma'am. I lost my schedule and locker info. I was hoping you could help me please?"

She peered at me over her glasses before she sighed. Loudly. "Name?"

"Kat -" I stopped myself. I wasn't Katya anymore. Least, not externally. "Tammy. Tammy Thompson."

"Okay, Ms. Thompson." I waited while she found a file and then seemed to copy it. It felt like it took forever. This would be so much faster if I just had a phone and she could just email it to me. This felt like a snail's pace. How did anyone get anything done like this? I tried not to groan and lay my head on the counter.

She finally handed me the copy. "Don't lose this one."

"I won't," I said, smiling up at her. At least one thing was working out. "Thank you!" She looked at me surprised. Did no one say thank you?

I left the office and the halls were quiet. Okay, on to the next step of the plan. Find the classes.

Turned out, once I had my schedule, finding the classes was a breeze. Since it was only a one story building, everything was fairly in numerical order. The only thing not was the gym, but that was easy to find as well. It was creepy though, walking through the halls. They were nearly empty and I could hear voices in unison repeating something. It sounded like the same thing in each class. It was like part of a horror movie.

I walked into English late. Somehow, it felt as awkward as it did when I was a teenager. Everyone was staring at me.

"Sorry I'm late," I said to the teacher. "I had an issue with the office."

"Just sit down Ms. Thompson," she said, waving me towards the only empty seat in the class.

"Thank you," I said. I sat down quickly and hard. My face flamed as everyone glanced at me. Why the hell were these seats so low? Ally, or was it Abby? was looking at me like I was crazy. The teacher started talking again and delving into the subject of Shakespeare. I had studied this before. In detail. I had taken a few English classes in University and no matter what, it all seemed to connect to Shakespeare. At least, many teachers seemed to think so.

Already bored, I looked around the class. Some of the kids were goofing off. I saw one girl drawing on her shoes. She looked up at me as I was staring at her. I gave a half smile before looking away and that's when I saw him.

I suddenly knew why that name was familiar. It wasn't just Tammy's diary. He looked back, smiling at some girl across the aisle. Steve Harrington wasn't just Tammy's crush. He was from a show. His face filled my dashboards on all my social media for a time. I felt my stomach drop. Nope. Nope nope nope. I quickly looked away, trying to quell my panic.

This was bad. This was very bad. Also, _impossible_, but at the moment the only thought I could focus on was that this was bad. I had never watched the show. I had been told repeatedly to try it out, and I meant to...I just never have. I knew it wasn't a happy go lucky teen drama show though. There were monsters. That's how Steve got so popular, by fighting monsters and protecting kids. I did not want to be in a world with real fucking monsters!

Holy shit. I needed to get out of here. I needed to get out fast. I felt myself hyperventilating. Fuck it. I made a mental apology to Tammy before I stood up and practically ran from the classroom.

"Miss. Thompson! Where do you think you're going?" I ignored her voice calling out after me. I'd go back and apologize, say I was sick again. I just needed to get some air. Was it even safe though? I didn't know enough to know what happened and when?

I ran through the hallway. Thankfully the school was not large enough for it to take long for me to get outside. I stopped when it finally felt like the walls weren't closing in on me.

"Take me back!" I screamed at the sky. I didn't know what I was doing. I didn't know why I was here. I just needed to go home. I started trying to list all the gods that I knew, which weren't many and before I realized it, I was calling on fictional characters. "Thor! Heimdall! Doctor! Anyone!"

There was no answer.

I didn't expect there to be, not really. It was just a hope. I had come here by some power so surely there should be a way for me to get back. Right? I had to give Tammy her body back and go home.

"Are you okay?"

I turned at the voice. Despite all my yelling, it hadn't occurred to me that someone would actually hear me. At least, not someone here.

It was the girl from the class, the one who had been drawing on her shoes. She looked concerned, and a little wary. No surprise. She probably thought I was crazy. I was starting to think so. I felt my throat start to close up and tears started to well up in my eyes. I dug my fingers into the bruise on my arm as if I could hold onto myself with it.

I tried to fight it. I didn't know how emotional Tammy was and I had no idea if she knew this girl or not, even just as an acquaintance. It didn't work though.

"Tammy?"

The sound of her name broke me. I couldn't help myself. I just started crying in earnest. I didn't know what was wrong with me. I should be able to control myself, at least until I was alone.

"Hey hey hey, it's okay!" The girl was suddenly beside me. She put an arm around my shoulders and started leading me somewhere. "Just breathe, okay? Here, sit."

I looked up. She had led up to the bleachers at the end of the field. I tried to relax, to at least calm myself to stop crying, but I stared at this strange girl who was dressed like nothing I was used to, and I'd start up again. I hadn't been this much of an emotional mess since I was in high school. It suddenly dawned on me. I was in a teenager's body and her emotions and hormones likely weren't regulated yet.

"Shit."

The girl scowled at me. "I know we're not friends, but I'm trying to help you. No need to be rude."

"Not you," I said, waving my hand slightly before taking a deep breath. The revelation had apparently shocked me out of crying. I wiped away the tears left on my face. "I just…" I shook my head. I couldn't explain even if I wanted to. I gave her a small smile though. "Thanks. I appreciate you coming out after me. You didn't have to."

She shrugged and looked like she was trying to act nonchalant. "Someone had to." She had a point. If anything, Ally should have. She was Tammy's friend. Wasn't she? This girl had come though, despite saying that they weren't friends. Well, I was going to do Tammy another service.

I held out my hand. "I'm Ka..Tammy. I'm Tammy." I really had to get that under control.

She looked at me strangely. She finally reached out and shook my hand. "Robin. We have three classes together."

"Yeah," I said quickly, trying to recover. "But if we're going to be friends, we gotta start on the right foot."

"Friends?" she asked. She looked a little suspicious, but also hopeful? I hoped so.

"Yeah," I said. "Friends."

[tbc]


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thank you to everyone who is giving this a chance. It's a bit of set up, I know, but getting to know our girl is only the beginning. We have some good things ahead that I think you'll enjoy. I know I do. Thanks again to Ellie without who this would never be possible.

By the way, we fancasted Tammy as Elisabeth Shue. If you want to know who we cast as her parents, let me know. :)

**Chapter Two**

I made my way back into the school once I was presentable enough, according to Robin. I ignored the whispers that followed me and headed straight for English. The teacher was sitting behind her desk when I got there.

"Excuse me, Ms." I said as I stood in the doorway.

"Ms. Thompson, I didn't expect to see you." She leaned back in her chair and waited for my response. She looked a little resigned and I wondered how many kids came up to her with excuses.

"I wanted to come and apologize. I interrupted your class twice, both coming in and running out. I'm sorry about that. I have no real excuse except that I suddenly felt sick. Either way, I could have handled it better and simply asked to be excused."

The woman stared at me for a moment before nodding. "Thank you for that. Are you feeling better?"

I nodded. "Yeah, it was just…" I thought of what to say. A version of the truth would likely be my best bet, but I wasn't sure how they'd take a panic attack. I had a feeling though that if I said I was going to throw up someone would suggest I was pregnant. I was pretty sure Tammy wasn't. Oh god, I hoped not. "I had a panic attack," I finally said. "I was sick and I've been trying to get ready because of course, one year til Nashville! And there's so much to do! I don't know if I'm ready yet but I am. It's just...I don't even know." I stopped myself from the sudden tangent I went on. I figured if Tammy was that passionate about Nashville, people would know.

"As long as you're okay," she finally said. She looked a little overwhelmed, though I wasn't sure if it was my admittance of a panic attack or the slight verbal diarrhea.

"Yes. I am. At least, I think so."

"Best get on to your next class then."

"Right!" I smiled at the teacher and waved as I left. "Thank you!"

The rest of the day was thankfully far more uneventful. There were a few rumours but no one had outright said anything to me about running out of class so I ignored it for the most part. It seemed pretty pointless but I supposed in a small town like this, drama was the only real form of entertainment. Especially since there was no internet.

I was bored. I had learned most of this stuff already. I knew more of it than the kids here, not including history or social studies. I could barely remember my Canadian history, despite having taken a course in it. I didn't know how long I was going to be here. I needed to find my way back, but since Tammy was required to be in school, there had to be some way of making it at least more interesting or I was going to be falling asleep.

I made my way back to the office at the end of the day. It was still technically the first week of school and if any changes were to be made, now would be the time. I just needed a reason. One that Tammy would justify.

I waited until the secretary noticed me. It was the same one from this morning.

"Can I help you?" she asked.

"Yes, I just had a quick question. I was wondering if it was at all possible to get a list of the classes available. I'm thinking of changing up my schedule to something aligning more with my goals. I just want to know what's available and what the requirements are for taking it." The woman stared at me as if she couldn't figure me out. It was becoming a recurring thing but I didn't think I was doing anything strange. "I know it's the end of the day, and I'm sorry for springing this on you. I can come back tomorrow morning if that's better?"

"You're aware that some courses are mandatory?" she finally said.

I nodded. "Yes. I was hoping, if at all possible, to see if there was an independent study for some of them, that I could test out of on my own. If not then I'll focus on reorganizing my electives." I wasn't sure how many electives these kids got, but there had to be some.

"It's never been done before," she warned. "Not here."

"That's fine. Can't grow without a challenge."

She smiled at me slowly like she was amused by my answer. "Okay." She moved around the office, pulling out papers from different areas and filing cabinets. She explained them as she lay them out in front of me. "This is the list of classes available. It lists the electives and prerequisites you need for those classes, as well as your required courses. You will have to lobby your teachers in the required courses for independent study. If they refuse, then I cannot help you. You will have to get parental permission for changing your schedule and for certain classes, for instance if you decide to attempt shop class. You will also need your teacher's permission in the classes you want to transfer into because the school year has already started. The forms needed are here. Fill them out, get the signatures and then we can see about moving you around."

I smiled widely. It was a lot of work, but if it kept me from being bored, it would be worth it. Until I found a way home, I was stuck here. I might as well learn something new. "Thank you," I said.

"You're welcome." She then added a small booklet on to the pile of papers. "I have a feeling you'll need this too."

I looked at the cover. _Rules and Regulations. Hawkins High School 1982_. That might actually come in handy. I suspected that the 80s wasn't as progressive as I was used to. I might have to fight my way into my schedule. You can't bend the rules without knowing them first.

"Thank you. I really appreciate this."

She nodded at me. "Come back when you've finished the forms."

"I will."

"Good. Now go home." I laughed at the dismissal before I left with a wave goodbye.

Tammy's mother was waiting for me outside the school. It took me a moment to recognize the car and I was helped by her mother honking the horn and waving at me.

"Are you alright? It looked like you didn't see me," her mother said.

"Sorry, I got a lot on my mind."

"Hmm? Like what?" her mother smiled at me. "A boy?"

"No," I said. There likely wasn't going to be any boys while I was here. They all were so...young. "I'm thinking of changing my schedule. Take classes that will help me more. Expand my repertoire, so to speak."

"Your repertoire?" she asked.

"Yeah," I said, thinking quickly of a reason that Tammy would likely give. "If I'm going to be a star, I need to be prepared for anything, right? Give myself a leg up on the competition."

"If you say so, honey."

I suddenly felt sorry for Tammy. Her mother was a little dismissive of these dreams of hers. It seemed unlikely that a small town girl from Indiana would make it in Nashville, but Taylor Swift did, didn't she? Actually, I had no idea where she was from, but the point was that if she tried hard enough, anything should have been possible. No wonder she was so gung ho about leaving, especially if she was lacking support. Her friend at school didn't even come see if she was okay when I ran out. A person needed strong friendships, especially in high school which had the potential to be the worst time in people's lives. It likely didn't help that Tammy wasn't here. I was. I had to do my best for her so that when she got back, it wasn't a complete shit show for her.

When we got back to the house, I made an excuse of homework to go back to Tammy's bedroom. Her mother just told me that dinner was at six and to be there.

I closed the door and took a breath. I was finally alone. There was some freedom in not having to pretend to be Tammy, at least, not while I was alone. I didn't have to worry about anyone seeing me acting...like me. I walked to the desk and passed the full length mirror she had. The reflection was a stark reminder that I wasn't me, at least not to everyone else. I stared at the blond girl in the mirror. I needed to think, and I couldn't do that with Tammy staring at me. I grabbed the blanket of the bed and covered the mirror.

I took a scrunchie off of her desk and tied her hair back. I lay her diaries out in front of me and grabbed the paper with the courses, as well as the rules and regulations of the school. I needed to see my options and figure out a way that it would make sense why Tammy would take them. Her passion to be a star could likely work in my favour, provided that I explained it in the right way. First I had to pick my courses.

This schedule was insane. There were five slots I could fill a day. A day. Last time I was in school it was in University and I had maybe four a day and that was pushing it. How did these kids survive?

There were a few required courses. English. Math. Civics. Gym. Standard ones that you'd expect. It listed a statistics course as one of the math courses available. I had taken one before in university. I made a note to take it again. It'd be a lot easier than calculus and that would let me focus on more important things, like going home. The electives were far more interesting. For the electives, there were a few that stood out. Shop, for one which was no longer offered where I came from. Typing. There was a language course but I had barely passed the required french classes I had to take when I was in high school. There was no way I was going to subject Tammy and I to it. I added chemistry. I didn't know much about the science but Mythbusters had shown me the possibilities it had. Especially if I added shop class into the equation. I would be able to actually try some of the experiments myself. Maybe.

The only problem that I felt would occur was getting into the shop class. I had to get parental and teacher permission, and I had a feeling it was a male dominated class. Thankfully, and I wondered if the secretary expected this of me, I had been given the rule book. And from what I could gather...there was no specific rule banning me from the class. As long as I had permission.

The first challenge was Tammy's parents.

My first real look at both of them together was during dinner. They didn't look that much older than I was. Her father was greying slightly which worked for him, and spent much of the time complaining about men at his work. I was pretty sure he was where Tammy got her height from, and her hair. Maybe also her good looks. Both her mother and father were fairly attractive. Tammy got lucky in the genetic lottery. Her mother served everyone then spent most of the meal nodding and commenting on things her father said. Apparently she had spent the day grocery shopping and seeing friends.

"You're awfully quiet, Tammy. How was school?" her mother finally asked.

"Good," I said. "I just...I've had a lot on my mind and I think I figured out what I want to change my courses to. I just need your permission."

"Change your courses?" her dad looked at me. "To what?"

"Well, I'd keep English and History. I want to change Calculus to Statistics and change the electives. I was thinking of Chemistry, Typing and Shop?"

Both her parents were staring at me in surprise.

"Shop class?" her mother asked.

"Yeah," I said. I had come up with what I hoped was a reasonable explanation. "I figured that if I took shop, the knowledge of woodworking would help me create sets, which would help me get a foot in the door on my way to stardom. Having an understanding of the work that people put into creating things, especially if it's going to showcase me, will only help me in my future." I felt like Rachel Berry from Glee. "If I can create something, and learn how to do so, that can be my starting/stepping stone. If I work hard, I can make my way up from the bottom, right?"

"But honey, shop class is for boys. What about home ec?" I dug my thumb into my thigh and clenched my teeth together, trying not to react. I needed to be calm to get my point across.

"I've done home ec for years." Fuck. I had no idea if that was true or not. I had only really glanced at her homework assignments, enough to give me a sense of what kind of student Tammy was. I prayed I was right. "There is nothing in the school rules that say I can't take it. This is something that I feel will really help me. Don't you want me to be happy?" It was a low blow.

"Let her take it," Tammy's father said. "She wants to fight her way through there, let her try. But," and he looked at me very carefully, "if you go through with this, I expect you pass with flying colours."

I grinned at him. "I will."

I went to school early the next day. Tammy's father had signed off on my required forms and I spent a good part of the night trying to memorize the rule book. I had a feeling that my biggest block would come from the school itself.

The shop class was hidden at the back of the school. It was empty and I knocked on the door before calling out into the room. "Hello?"

"Hello!" A voice called back. A man who looked like he was in his late fifties stepped out of a room on the side. "Can I help you?"

"I hope so," I said. I stepped forward and held out my hand. "I'm Tammy Thompson."

He shook my hand and I could feel grease on his fingers. "Simon Caldwell. What can I do for you Miss. Thompson?"

"I'd like to take your class."

He looked surprised. "What?"

"I'd like to take your class," I repeated. "I'm aware that I haven't taken any before, but I figured now's the time. I need your permission though."

"You understand what we do here, right?"

"Yes. You work machines, you use tools and you build. That's what I want to learn."

He rubbed a hand on his face. "Are you sure? There ain't been a girl in this class...since I don't know when." That was unfortunate.

"If you let me in, I'm sure."

"The boys here won't like it, you realise that. You're likely to hear a lot of comments that won't be kind to you." He seemed like he was trying to warn me more than actively suggesting I take something else.

"Trust me, sir," I said. "I can handle it." Which I felt was true. I was used to sexist comments and remarks, but I was also from a time of calling people out on their problematic behaviour. They'd learn fast that I wouldn't put up with it. "As long as you don't mind if I deal with it on my own."

"Alright," he finally said. "I'll agree to it, but I have rules in my shop class. You follow them, you'll make it through. I won't have you coming to simply distract the boys, distractions get them hurt, so if you're here for a crush, I suggest you find a different way."

I scoffed. "Sir, if I wanted to attract a boy, I'd talk to him. I wouldn't take a class where we could chop off a finger for not paying attention. I want to learn."

"Alright then." He signed my paper.

"Good morning!" I called out to the secretary. She smiled as she saw me.

"Miss. Thompson. How did the paperwork go?"

"Better than expected, actually," I said. I handed over the filled out forms. "Everything is signed, by all the required people, except for the independent study ones. I haven't gotten a chance to run that by them yet. I'm hoping it'll be okay, but we'll see."

"Well, best of luck. Give me five minutes and I'll see what I can do for you in terms of your schedule."

"Thank you," I said, before I realised something. "I'm so sorry, for the life of me I can't seem to recall your name."

"Ms. Callahan," she said.

"Callahan," I repeated, trying to make it stick in memory. "Thank you Ms. Callahan. I really do appreciate it.

"This also has to be signed by the principal," she said suddenly. "They might not agree."

"I'm prepared for that," I said, nodding. I had seen that it needed their signature too.

"Wait one minute then."

Ms. Callahan walked over to the office at the side. She entered the office and I waited a few moments before she walked out followed by another woman.

"Miss. Thompson," the other woman called me. "I hear you want to change your schedule."

"Yes," I answered.

"Any particular reason why?"

"Well, I've been thinking a lot this summer. I need to start branching out, strengthening my weaknesses in other areas of show business. Like building sets."

"Indeed. You are aware that we haven't had many female students express an interest in shop class." It was a polite way of telling me the same thing the teacher told me.

"I am, and I am also aware that the rules and regulations of the school clearly state that no student shall be excluded from a class of their choosing due to their gender."

Her eyebrows raised. "You've done your homework."

"I want to be prepared." I was trying very hard not to call her ma'am, despite how polite it seemed. I hated when people called me it.

"Very well. I will agree to it on one condition," she said. "We start with a trial run. As long as there are no prevalent issues, you will be able to continue it. Am I understood?"

"Yes!" I grinned at her. "Thank you!"

She looked a little surprised, perhaps from my enthusiasm. "You're very welcome." She signed the papers and gave them back to Ms. Callahan who smiled at me.

When she was finished with rearranging my schedule, she handed the papers back to me and said two words: "Good luck."

The first class of the day was Statistics. It seemed to be a bit early for a math class but I had little choice in the matter. Not if I wanted to stick with it. Because I had gotten to school so early, I was the first one in the class, even after the hold up in the office. The teacher was at the board. He was another older man, who had a beard so long it looked like he'd be able to tuck it into his belt. I wondered briefly if he ever dressed up as Santa for the kids.

"Yes?" he asked once he caught sight of me.

"Good morning, sir," I said, trying to start the introduction right. If there as anything my job taught me, it was that first impressions were important. "I'm Tammy Thompson. I just got reassigned to your class."

"Forms?"

I handed over the paperwork.

"Why Statistics?" he asked.

"Everything uses statistics," I answered, remembering my first lecture in the course. "From businesses to research, and even just shopping, if you think about it."

"Alright," he said. "There are no assigned seats. There's no talking and if you have questions, raise your hand. I don't have time to catch you up so if you need help, ask one of your peers."

He sounded a lot like one of my high school math teachers. It was a little strange.

I nodded though. "Yes sir."

"Good. Sit down."

I had completely forgotten how creepy American schools were. The voices that I heard the other day as I walked down the hall was the students reciting the pledge of allegiance. It was the weirdest thing I had ever seen. I got through it by faking it mostly. It was hard to recite and promise something I didn't know or believe in. At most in Canada, we sang along to the national anthem each morning.

I got to lunch and stopped in the doorway. I had avoided this yesterday by sitting by myself and planning out how I was going to survive until I got home. Mostly that involved my plan to change my schedule.

I looked around the room slowly. Ally, and I was sure it was Ally this time, waved at me from across the room. I kept looking around though and I saw Robin sitting with a group of other people. I waved at Robin, saying hi as I walked by and sat with Ally. I couldn't change Tammy's life too suddenly and there had to be some reason why she was friends with Ally.

"Finally! Why weren't you in English?" Ally asked as I sat across from her. There was another girl next to her who I vaguely recognized from a group picture that Tammy had.

"I changed my schedule," I said. I unwrapped the sandwich that Tammy's mother had made for me. She had offered to give me money to buy lunch but that felt like a waste of money. Especially for cafeteria food.

"Oh my god," the other girl said. "Did you get out of English? Tell me how because I'm so over Ms. Marshall. Like, why are we already getting assignments? Just gag me with a spoon!"

That was quite the expression. "Probably because it's required and if you do multiple small assignments, you're less likely to have to do a major one at the end of the year."

The two girls just stared at me. "What?"

"It's all about grading, right? The more small marks you get, the less a major assignment is going to count for. As long as you do them, you'll have a decent grade at the end of the year. Seems like she's trying to help students out for their grades if they go to university."

"Did you really just say that?" Ally asked. "I can't even."

I frowned at her. It was way too similar to a phrase in my time, and the way she said it was kind of rude. "It's true, isn't it?"

"How should I know? I'm not a nerd."

"Being a nerd has nothing to do with it," I snapped back. I was getting tired of her tone. "It's common sense."

"Ugh!" Ally stood up and the other girl followed suit. "What is your damage? You were fine all summer and now it's like you turned into some freak."

"Because I disagreed with you?" I asked, totally confused. Did they not have actual discussions?

"Not even!" She turned to the other girl. "Let's go."

I watched them walk away, talking to each other. I was totally confused. So much for my damage control. What went wrong? I tried to be friendly but the fact that Ally couldn't handle someone giving their opinion and pointing something out, didn't state much for their friendship. This was the same girl who didn't even come after me when I ran out in a panic. I wasn't sure how serious Tammy was about their friendship, or if it was a mutually beneficial situation. Maybe they had just grown up together and stayed friends because they felt they should. If so, it didn't seem like something that would last. Maybe they weren't expecting it to if Tammy was going to actually go to Nashville.

I finished eating alone. It gave me an opportunity to observe the masses, so to speak. It also was a little bit of a relief. At least alone I didn't have to put so much work into pretending I was someone I was not.

The afternoon was mainly for shop class. I mentally tried to prepare myself for walking in there. It couldn't be worse than walking into a boardroom and making a presentation on a client.

The boys were seated in whatever seats were available around the room. They noticed me slowly as one by one they nudged each other and pointed me out. I walked in and sat down in the nearest available seat next to a boy with another unfortunate haircut.

"Hey Thompson, you lost?" One of the boys across the room called out.

"Nope," I said, putting my bag down and settling myself in. "Right where I want to be."

"Really? Maybe the right place would be right here, baby, on my lap." I saw the teacher behind him, eyebrows raised as he waited for my response. At least he was trusting me to take care of myself.

"If I wanted to be disappointed, sure." I looked over at the boy. "You want to screw around, be my guest, but you have hands, don't involve me." The other boys started laughing and I watched as this kid's face turned red.

"That's enough," Mr. Caldwell called out as he stepped into the room. "Boys, you've noticed we have someone new in our class. If any of you mess around because of it, I'll kick you out. Got it? I won't have people making dangerous mistakes because they can't take the fact that a girl is here."

The boys all replied in a variety of "yes, sir."

"That was impressive," a voice next to me said. I looked over at the boy I was sitting by. He gave me a smile. "Haven't heard a come back like that in awhile."

"Thanks?" I said, before turning to see that the teacher was showing the instructions on the board.

"You're welcome. I'm Jonathan, by the way."

"Tammy," I said. I looked at him out of the corner of my eye. He was watching the teacher and his body language didn't seem to be angled towards me. Over all, he just seemed friendly.

"Nice to meet you," he said, before smiling at me and looking back at the teacher. Huh. It was nice to see that not all the guys here were assholes. At least, so far. It was still early.

The rest of the class was spent with the boys working on planning their individual projects for the year, and me learning the tools of the trade so to speak. Jonathan was helpful in a useful sort of way and offered me suggestions and tips on working some of the tools. He didn't make it weird or creepy like some guys did. He worked quietly. I appreciated it.

I started to get the hang of things by the time the class ended. I was given a week to figure out what I wanted to complete for my project. It had to be something impressive enough to get Tammy a good grade. Luckily Jonathan had offered his help if I asked for it and the teacher promised to answer any questions I had. All in all, it fared a lot better than I had expected, like most things so far, monsters not included.

I kept expecting something terrible to happen, but so far the most terrible thing that happened was the fact that I kept waking up in Tammy's body. I made it through the week with little problem. Aside from the few small rumours running around about Tammy. Apparently she was a bit of a slut for wanting to take a class that was mainly boys. I ignored it. It wasn't the worst that I had heard in my life, especially about me, and it didn't really matter. It wasn't about me. Least, it didn't feel like it, not when they weren't using my name.

It was finally Friday, and I was heading out of my final class for the day. I had plans to spend most of it alone, and possibly finding the library in the town. Since google wasn't a thing, I needed to go old school. Or, current school? It got very confusing at times.

I felt someone grab my arm as I headed for the doors. I looked to my side to see Robin holding my arm and guiding me away from them. She was silent the entire way. I was tempted to pull away but she looked concerned, and upset, and I felt I should repay the favour. She had, after all, come after me.

I waited until we had finally entered a room. I looked around. There were instruments in cages and music stands by chairs.

"Bounce!" she called out. There was a lone clarinet player in the room.

"I booked the room," the guy called out.

"Get out Keith!"

"What's going on?" I asked, turning to face her. She had her back against the door and she looked like she was thinking. She finally seemed to get her thoughts in order.

"What's going on with you?"

Fear struck through me. "What are you talking about?"

"Look, okay," she stepped towards me. "I've been watching you all week. I don't know what's going on but it's not you Tammy. You changed courses. You're covered in bruises that you keep touching while looking spaced. You haven't been singing in the halls, or in class, and you looked at Harrington and literally ran out of the room like something was on fire. Either he did something, or..."

"Who? Harrington?"

"Yes," she said. She looked so earnest that I was kind of touched. "If he hurt you, you need to tell someone."

I stared at her before I felt myself smiling. How often was it that girls did this for each other, in any time. "He didn't do anything," I said, smiling softly. "No one did." At least not the way she seemed to think.

"Then what is all this?" she asked. "What's_ happening _to you?""I figured out my priorities!" I said. I couldn't help smiling. All the fear left me as she had kept talking. "I cannot tell you how much I appreciate you Robin. You came after me when I had a panic attack, and now you're worried that _Steve Harrington_ hurt me? No one touched me. No one hurt me. I just spent a lot of time thinking this summer. Turns out I was busy trying to hit all the high notes when I'm not made for that. My voice is stronger in a lower range and I don't know about you, but if I'm going to hit Nashville after school, I have a lot of time to make up for. I wasted so much! And I'm so distracted and I keep running into things! I also realised I need to expand my skill set. So, shop class. I figure if I can learn to make things for sets, that will help me get started. Even if I start at the bottom."

"Are you...sure?" It was so sweet. I stared at this girl, who was so certain something was wrong that she went out of her way to check on me, to give me a safe space so I could talk.

"Robin, I am so sure." I felt a rush of affection for this girl. "I cannot tell you how much I appreciate this, even if it wasn't needed."

"Okay," she nodded and stepped back. "Okay. I'm sorry."

I stepped forward. "There is no need to be sorry. You saw a girl who seemed like she was in trouble and you tried to do something about it! How many people can say the same? The world needs more people like you, Robin."

She looked surprised and a little embarrassed. "No it doesn't."

"It really does. Trust me."

Robin and I left each other on good terms. And with plans to eat lunch together in the next week. I got into Tammy's mother's car in a better mood than I had been in all week.

"I have great news!" her mother said as I sat down.

"What's that?"

"Buster is back! In full health!"

I stared at her. Buster? Who the hell was Buster? The only thing I could think of was that it was a pet, after all, who named someone Buster? Then again, who named someone Tammy?

"Oh my god," I finally reacted. "Buster!"

"Yeah! The vet called today and said he's good to come home! He just has to wear a cone to keep him from licking his stitches."

Definitely a pet then. Hopefully it was a cat. It seemed easier to scoop up litter than pick up poop. Something suddenly occurred to me.

"Where's all his stuff?"

"In the wash, of course," she said. "Though, we set it all back up now that it's clean."

There seemed to be an answer for everything. I thought back to it. How did I not notice an animal in the house? The answer was obvious. I hadn't looked. I had spent the week hiding in Tammy's room anytime I was in the house.

We got to the house and I followed Tammy's mother inside. I heard the paws before I saw him. Her mother moved aside and I found myself staring at a large, older beagle with a cone around his neck. The dog stared at me. I watched as he sniffed the air before it suddenly looked like he was glaring at me. The beagle, Buster, turned and walked away.

Tammy's mother looked at me. "That's weird," she said. I looked at her quickly before she smiled. "Don't worry. The vet said he might not be his usual self while he heals. He'll be back to adoring you in no time."

Fuck.

The problem was going to be that Buster adored Tammy. I was not Tammy, not...really, and somehow the dog knew it. I stared at the dog as I ate dinner. He was ignoring me. He had ignored me since the moment we saw each other. Tammy's parents were laughing it off. Promising that he would go back to being the affectionate lug I apparently knew and loved. I wasn't so sure.

"So," I said softly, staring at this dog. Tammy's parents were asleep and I had come down in the very early morning to see if I could do something about this dog. It felt like the world was still asleep, and so was the dog. He opened one eye at me and then closed it again. Buster was ignoring me. "Listen, pup," I said. "I know I'm not her, but we gotta work together here. I'm not that bad, I promise."

He stretched and then huffed at me.

"Well then," I said. "That was rude." I got up and looked around. There was a bag of treats on the counter that Tammy's father had used to get Buster to take his medicine. I picked it up. At the sound of the bag, the dog had moved faster than I had seen him move so far. "Ah ha!" I said, smiling widely. "So you can be bought!" I tried not to laugh but I gave the dog a treat. I reached out to touch him and he stepped back. "Alright," I said. I leaned back on my heels. "We'll work on it."

"Tammy?"

I turned at the sound and saw Tammy's father coming down the stairs. "Hi daddy!" I said back, cringing a little inside. The term was ruined for me in terms of actual family after years of social media.

"What are you doing up so early?"

"I just woke up early and I just...wanted to make sure he was okay." I smiled at her father while I motioned to the dog.

"Okay. Your mother will be up soon and she'll make breakfast." I stared at him. Why couldn't he?

"Why can't you?" I asked.

He looked stunned. "What?"

I shrugged. "Can't you make something? I mean, mom cooks all the time. Might be nice if we surprised her some times with making it ourselves?" I kept it plural so that I didn't overwhelm him too much.

"Well, I...she likes to cook," he finally said.

"Just like you like to go to work? And I like to go to school?"

"I...I never thought about that." Before we could go further, there was the sound of steps on the stairs.

"Am I the last to wake up?" Tammy's mother was coming down, dressed in a bathrobe.

"I woke up early," I said. "I was just asking if dad would make eggs." I grinned at him.

"Your father has to get ready for work, and you have to get ready for school. Go on, by the time you finish, I'll have breakfast ready for you."

"But-"

"No buts!" She motioned me back to the stairs. "Get back up those stairs."

"I have time!" I argued back.

"Tamara Katherine Thompson, are you arguing with me?" She put her hands on her hips and raised her eyebrows. I let myself be led out of the kitchen by Tammy's father. Her full name. They had called her by her full name. I had thought Tammy was an odd name but it never occurred to me that it was a nickname. What was more important though was the middle name: Katherine. It was close enough to my name that I could use that...if I could convince everyone. I wondered how they'd react if I asked them to call me Kate.

_[tbc]_


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** For those of you reading, this chapter is where our main character starts to...interact more with the world she finds herself in. We're having a lot of fun with this story. I hope you enjoy it as much as we do. Special thanks always to Ellie without who I would not enjoy this as much or get this far. This chapter has one of my favourite scenes in it. Can you guess which one it is?

**Chapter Three**

"What do you think of the name Kate?"

Robin looked surprised as I sat across from her at lunch.

"What?" She asked. "Kate?"

"I'm thinking of changing my name. Or well, actually just going by my middle name. Sort of. You think I look like a Kate?"

"Why do you want to change your name?" She asked, looking at me like I had asked her for drugs.

I shrugged. "It'd be a stage name. You know, like Cher or Madonna. Those aren't their real names."

"So not Kate Thompson?"

"I guess," I said, "but I just like Kate." The truth was unexplainable. I couldn't tell her that Kate was the closest to my actual name and that I really wanted it because it felt like it took me forever to react when someone called Tammy's name.

"I think Tammy would be more of a stage name, right?"

I took a bite of my sandwich and tried to look like I was considering it. "Maybe but it's too close to Tiffany, and besides it isn't really a stage name if it's just my real name."

"That's true. Plus, it's a common enough name that it would resonate with people more. Like Tiffany."

"Exactly!" I smiled wide. Robin smiled back slowly. "So, what do you like to do for fun?"

"Not much, I mean, it's mostly soccer and band. My parents went kind of strict when the Byers kid and the girl in our class went missing, especially when only the kid came back and no one still knows what happened to the other girl."

I couldn't stop my response. "What?"

"Don't you remember? It was like...just last year. It was all over the news."

A cold feeling crept up the back of my neck. This wasn't right. Kids go missing, it was a fact, especially with the increase in news about serial killers over the last couple decades. But the town had monsters….

"Right!" I quickly realised that Robin was staring at me concerned by my lack of reaction, and possibly the fear on my face if I didn't hide it well. "My parents flipped out too. I was driven everywhere for my extracurriculars." I had no idea if that was true but it seemed like something Tammy's parents would do. They seemed like good people. "Crazy right?"

* * *

By the time we had finished lunch, we had found more common ground: music.

"Okay, but I'm just saying that the next time Queen comes around, I'm going to be front row." She looked amused at my passion. I knew she didn't understand though. Freddie Mercury died in the late 80s or was it the early 90s? and I had a chance to see him in this world. I would find a way to make it happen.

"You'd have a better chance making it front row for Prince. He's touring nearby in November. I heard it on the radio this morning."

"Prince?!" I hadn't even thought of Prince but he had passed away too. That would be awesome.

"Tammy!"

I felt myself jump at the sudden loud call of her name. My heart pounded. The thought of monsters did not do my nerves any favours. I turned to see Ally standing next to me. "Hey!"

"I've been calling you for like ever. Can we talk?"

"Sure," I smiled at Robin and turned towards Ally. "What's up?"

She looked confused before shaking her head. "I meant without an audience."

I nodded and told Robin I'd see her later. I packed up the containers and followed Ally out of the cafeteria. She was clearly unhappy with something and I figured it had to do with our last conversation. This one was likely to be just as interesting but I had to be careful. Ally had known Tammy forever.

We finally stopped once we were in the gym on the bleachers that were set up. She sat down and looked at me.

"What is your damage?" she asked.

"Excuse me?" I was tempted to walk away, but I sat down next to her.

"I don't get you. We're finally seniors and suddenly you're totally rude to me and Cindy. You changed all the classes that we chose together, and now you're talking to band nerds? Like, what is happening?"

She looked genuinely upset and I realised how hard this likely was for her. It was very easy to forget everyone else who was affected by this.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I guess I've been wrapped up in myself. I just, I realised there's so much I'm not ready for. I'm just trying to learn everything that I can that will help me. As for _Robin_," I said, emphasizing her name because come on, she was a person. "She's cool. There aren't many people who notice that someone's not okay and come after them."

"Oh my god," she drawled out. "Is this because of the freak out you had in English?"

"No," I said. I was tired of this already because it felt like she wasn't listening. "Look, I'm sorry senior year isn't what you're expecting, but it's still early. We're still friends, but there's nothing wrong with finding new ones."

"But she's in band!"

"So? What's wrong with band?"

Ally stared at me like she had never seen me before. "What's wrong with...who _are _you?"

I felt myself freeze. She knew. She knew and oh my god, what could I say? My chest and throat tightened and I suddenly felt like I was going to be sick. "What?"

"Whatever!" she said, standing up suddenly. "Whenever you decide you want to be my friend again, one who doesn't hang out with losers, you can call me."

She stormed off.

What a bitch. I tried counting slowly, breathing in and out to calm myself down. She didn't know. She was just reacting in anger. Things were changing, far more than she realised. The sound of a whistle echoed through the gym.

"Thompson!" I looked up at the sound of my name. One of the gym teachers was staring at me. "Get to class!" There was something about gym teachers and the way they yelled your name that got one running faster than anything else.

* * *

"Look! It's the butch who's back!"

I looked over at the boy who called out at my appearance in shop class. It was the same kid who asked me if I was in the wrong place last time. He was hitting one of his friends as they laughed. I already had a headache. I was in no mood to put up with this. "Oh good," I called back. "It's jerk class. I was hoping I wasn't late for the lecture on how to overcompensate for the lack of one's sexual prowess."

The laughter slowly stopped as they looked at each other. I rolled my eyes and sat in the same seat I sat in last time.

"That should occupy them for some time," I muttered. I heard Jonathan laugh softly.

"No need to be a bitch, Thompson, just because you're not getting any," the same guy from before called over again.

I looked over the machine in front of me. "Guess that explains your personality."

"I can squeeze you into my schedule, babe, if you want an attitude adjustment. Who knows, maybe getting laid will make you feel like a girl again."

I felt my mouth drop open at the comment. Wow. Considering how often he was trying to harass me in this class, it seemed like he was trying hard to be seen, to be noticed by somebody. I aimed for the jugular.

"I'm sorry," I said, in the bitchiest voice I could manage, "but do I even know you?"

"What?" He looked shocked. In fact, everyone was looking surprised.

"Do I know you?" I repeated slowly. "Like, why are you talking to me? Do you honestly think that I would be looking to some boy who is so obviously trying to hide his insecurities, for, what, a _good time_? I doubt you could even get a girl off, let alone spend an hour with you."

"I have a girlfriend!" he snapped.

"Give her my sympathies," I said dryly. God, he had a girlfriend and yet was still trying to proposition me.

"Listen you little bitch-"

"That's enough!" Mr. Caldwell walked in at the perfect time. "Get to work."

I sent the boy a fake smile and waved, ignoring how he gave me the finger, and got to work.

There was something soothing in measuring, cutting and building something. My first task was a magnetic knife rack. It wasn't much, but it was meant to just get me familiar with the tools. That fact that I was certain I was smiling as I was using tools and possibly looking a little more threatening than they were used to was just icing on the cake.

"I don't think I've ever heard someone talk to Tommy like that," Jonathan said quietly.

"That explains a lot."

"You know he's going to retaliate, right?"

I looked at Jonathan. He seemed sincere, but I had put up with enough vicious boys when I was in high school and more manipulative men when I was considered an adult. I barely put up with it then and I certainly wasn't going to put up with it now. "My mother always told me," I said, in the primmest tone I had, "that a lady should never start a fight. She damn well finishes it though."

* * *

My last period for the day was Gym. I had avoided it the week before because I was gone the day it was in Tammy's schedule. Now I had no choice. When I was in high school, the first time around, I had hated gym class. I felt uncoordinated and I hated running. As I grew older I saw the merits in it. My mother had once tried to convince me to run a 5k with her but I preferred group classes and personal training. I had taken a variety of classes trying to find one that I enjoyed enough to want to take for longer than a few weeks. Fitness classes with adults was nothing like PE with teenagers.

"Alright! Let's start with laps!" The teacher motioned for us to start and slowly, with more than a few complaints, everyone did.

I started off slowly. I had gotten used to Tammy's body when it came to walking but running felt weird. I was used to far more weight I had to essentially carry, and my chest was large enough that it needed to be strapped in tight so it didn't hurt when I ran. Tammy was smaller than me in some ways like chest size, but she was also taller and leaner. I had to catch myself a few times from falling forward because I overbalanced.

Moving at a speed faster than walking was proving difficult. Just when I thought I got the hang of it, like correcting my overbalancing, something else would happen like tripping over my feet. It was getting frustrating.

"Thompson!" I looked up to see the teacher waving me over. I ran up to her and waited. It was nice to realised I could still breathe easier. "What dance classes are you taking now that's messing up your running?"

I stared at her. Tammy took dance? "Nothing out of the ordinary," I said. "Why?"

"You look like a newborn foal with the way you're running," her tone was dry.

"I've been sick," it was the only response I could think of.

"With?"

I tried to think quickly of something that would mess up a person's balance. "Ear infection. It's getting better." It was the only thing I could think of.

"See that it does."

I went back to running. Tammy took dance. It made sense if I thought about it. She would need more skills if she went into show business. The only problem was that I couldn't go to her dance classes. They'd probably be advanced and I had no idea what I was doing. Not unless I considered how people danced for fun as a technique. They'd know something was up immediately. I had to figure out a way out of it.

* * *

When I left the gym, people were staring. I admittedly looked over my shoulder more than once in case something was trying to creep up on me. The thought of monsters lurking in the shadows stayed in the back of my head, like a warning sign that was flashing that I couldn't really make out. I was almost out the door when, surprisingly, Ally came up to me.

"Tammy! Did you or did you not totally eviscerate Tommy H.?"

"Nice word choice," I said before I could stop myself. "Is that the guy from shop?"

She stared at me like she had never seen me before. "Of course I mean the guy from shop! How can you not know who I'm talking about?"

I shrugged. "I don't know; I just didn't really think about it."

"But you did, right? Like Bobby told Sue who told Michael who told me that you tore him apart with words. That you said you didn't even know him!"

"Well, I don't," I prayed I was right, that Tommy and I hadn't actually interacted outside of the times him and Tammy would have been forced to in school. "Not really."

"Get out! You bitch!" she started laughing. "I can't believe you!"

It hadn't occurred to me that I have caused that much of a scandal. "He was being a dick," I said.

"Of course he was. It's Tommy!"

"Well, I'm tired of it. That's no excuse." I pulled my bag up from my shoulder. "I'm not going to ignore his shitty behaviour just because he feels like he's entitled to it. If someone acts problematic, you call them on it. It's that simple."

Apparently, it wasn't. She just stopped and stared at me. I shrugged. "See you later." I left her in that hallway. I was already anticipating a headache tomorrow if this was how fast the rumours were travelling. Didn't people have anything better to do?

* * *

I sat at the table across from Tammy's mother. She was talking about some woman she ran into at the supermarket. And something about a coupon. I wasn't fully listening. I felt like I couldn't get comfortable even just sitting in the chair. My body felt weird. It had been off since I struggled to get through gym without embarrassing myself, or Tammy rather, too terribly. I had managed to put it out of my head, thinking of ways to get out of dance and then facing Ally and the rumours about me. Now it felt like it was starting to consume me.

My arms didn't feel like they were mine. Logically, I knew they weren't, but they moved the way I wanted them too and I could feel with them. It just felt weird. Like they were prosthetics, not actually real but something that was attached to me regardless. I didn't like it.

"Tammy, you're slouching."

I pushed the food around my plate. I didn't really feel like eating. Not when I didn't feel like me.

"Tammy!"

I jolted at her mother's tone, her voice cutting through my thoughts. I blinked at her. "Yeah?"

"You're slouching!" she said. "You're going to damage your back. Honestly, I don't know what's gotten into you lately." A 28-year-old woman, I thought to myself. I couldn't say that though, for a multitude of reasons.

"Sorry," I muttered.

"Are you sure you're alright?" she asked, looking concerned. "You're not eating."

"Sorry, I just...I'm not that hungry." I needed to work on my performance. I was getting used to being Tammy that it felt like I was starting to slip. It had only been a week or so. This wasn't good. I needed to find a way home. Somehow. "I think I'll just go to bed, if that's okay."

Tammy's parents looked at each other and her mother finally nodded. I left the room quietly and as I got to the stairs I could hear them talking.

"Something is going on, Sam. She's not herself," her mother said.

"She's a teenager," Tammy's father, who was apparently called Sam, replied. "It was bound to happen eventually."

"I know; it just feels like I'm starting to lose my little girl."

I had to stop myself from bursting into tears as I walked up the stairs. How could I tell her that unless I could figure out a way to switch back, she was right?

**[tbc]**


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: This is a crazy time in the world right now. It feels super weird to be a part of it. I'm stuck at home and while I have all this time for writing, I have good days and bad days. I'm posting this now because this fic is fun and I'm way ahead of this chapter and I just hope you guys enjoy it as much as I do. Be careful out there and feel free to message me (here on on tumblr at asirensrage) if you just need someone to talk to.

**Chapter Four**

I felt like shit the next day.

It likely had to do with crying my eyes out for a good part of the night because for some reason I couldn't stop once I started. It made me think of that Dane Cook joke about crying and how people tended to just think of everything terrible that happened just to make themselves cry more. It didn't take much to set me off further. On the bright side though, my arms finally felt like they were mine again and that was a strange thought.

I got to my locker in relative peace. People were still staring and whispering to each other but so far no one had said anything to me. I was already tired and the day had barely started. I needed coffee. Unfortunately, they didn't tend to supply it on hand to students and wasn't even sure if Starbucks existed yet. The things I would do just for a frappuccino.

"I can't do this anymore!"

I turned at the sound of the hushed whisper. Jonathan was standing a few lockers away with a girl. She sounded stressed. I turned back to my locker but focused on the conversation. Was I wrong about Jonathan? Was he like the rest of the douchebags I had come across so far? Despite my exhaustion, I was fully prepared to go over and help out a girl if I needed to.

"We'll figure it out," he sounded far more calm than the girl did.

"I can't stand being here, Jonathan. Barb is gone and no one...no one cares. The only people still looking for her are her parents and they...they deserve to know the truth."

All of my thoughts came to a screeching halt. Hold on. A girl was missing? And why did it sound like they murdered her? It hit me suddenly that they might have been talking about the girl Robin had mentioned who had gone missing. This was a world with monsters and things that hid in the dark, not just humans. I dug my fingers into the fading bruise on my arm without thinking.

"I know," Jonathan said. "But until we figure out how...without the government locking us up, we can't do anything."

Of fucking course the government was involved. After all, in most movies that had monsters, they were either brought here or created by either governments or corporations. Sometimes both. This was worse than I thought. Avoiding detection and suspicion from Tammy's family and friends was one thing, the US government that may or may not be involved with monsters was a whole different ballpark. I needed more information. What the hell was I going to do? 

* * *

The day passed by in a blur.

The most I could think of was that I had to continue to try to hide in plain sight. I couldn't do anything too radical that would draw attention. This meant that my plans to research my...condition would have to be carefully done. I wouldn't be able to start requesting newspaper clippings and a multitude of science journals without a solid reason why. I also had to make sure I avoided the government building and any of the employees. I didn't think it would be too hard, government people usually stood out in some way, depending on the type of employee they were.

I was lost in thought, trying to consider if I had already screwed myself over by changing Tammy's schedule. I couldn't have done too badly because I had my reasons why. Well, Tammy did. Something pushed me from behind. I stumbled forward, catching myself by pure luck before I fell. I turned to see what happened and some girl was staring at me. She had her hip cocked to one side and her arms crossed in front of her.

"What was that for?" I demanded. I had never seen this girl in my life. At least, I didn't think I did. Tammy might have, but I didn't think Tammy had any enemies. Unless it was a rival. Did Tammy have rivals? Was that a thing?

"What do you think?" She nearly snarled.

"I don't know? That's why I asked." I motioned to her, trying to convey my confusion. People had already stopped to watch us in the hall. At least it was a small consolation that they didn't have cell phones to record this. The _only_ consolation really about not having cell phones. Or internet.

"You think you can talk to my boyfriend like that and I wouldn't react?"

I stared at her for a second. Her boyfriend? When did I...It clicked. She was the girlfriend of the asshole in Shop. Tommy or whatever his name was. "Oh, right. So you pushed me?" I hadn't had to deal with high school girls and their drama in a long time. Guys I knew, they didn't really change, but I wasn't entirely sure how to deal with this.

She shifted her stance slightly and looked smug. "Yeah," she said. "I did."

"Okay…" I drawled out, trying to think of a response. "And?" The girl's face scrunched up and I could see her getting more upset. "What do you want?"

She moved forwards, stepping closer to me. "Listen you grody little toad," she said. I stared down at her. I didn't realise how tall Tammy actually was until right now. I had only ever reached like 5'6", but Tammy was taller. The girl in front of me was not.

"Are you sure you're calling _me_ little?" I asked, trying not to laugh at the image I'm sure we presented. I watched as she clenched her jaw, apparently trying to control her fury. Something told me that she did not appreciate my comment. She likely appreciated the stifled laughter I heard around us even less. "Well?" I asked, uncertain if she was actually going to respond. The sooner this was over with, the sooner I could get on to more important things like figuring out how to avoid getting kidnapped and experimented on by the government. "If you're not going to use your words, there's really no point in this, is there?"

"You burned my boyfriend!"

It took me a second before I realised she didn't mean literally. "Your boyfriend is a dick," I said. "He also came onto me, so maybe you should reconsider your choices in that department."

"As if! He would never try to fuck a giant freak like you!"

"Oh, so now I'm a giant," I muttered. She didn't even try to deny the cheating. That was sad. "I have witnesses that prove otherwise if you really want to ask them."

"Do you honestly think you're something now that you're stepping into your butch shoes? As if that will ever correct the tragedy that is your face, which you should bag. You're a nobody and you always fucking will be. And if you ever come near my boyfriend again, I will ugly you up further that the only show business you get into will be the freak show business, not that you shouldn't already be there now."

I felt myself straighten. She was aiming for the heart of Tammy. It was cruel, and I'm sure if I was actually a teenage girl with dreams of stardom, it would be enough to make me want to hide and cry forever. I could see why her and Tommy were together. They had the same mean streak in them.

I didn't need to move any closer to look down at this girl, but I felt myself smile slowly. She blinked at me, like she wasn't certain she was really seeing it. "I get that you're upset about your boyfriend," I said softly. "Poor Tommy, tried to cheat, got called out and looked stupid. Just because you're willing to put up with his behaviour does not mean that anyone else is, or that they should. But," I raised my voice slightly. "If you have half the brain cells you seem to think you do, then you'd know that being cruel to everyone isn't going to solve your myriad of problems. And if you ever threaten me again, I will rip out your hair so hard it will never grow back properly, do you hear me?" It felt like a stupid threat but one that I felt like she would actually understand. I wasn't sure if she'd take me seriously though.

I looked away from her. Everyone around us had leaned closer, likely trying to hear what I was saying to her. I stepped back from her and walked away. The crowd around us parted so I could leave. I was pretty sure the girl was likely furious. The situation probably hadn't gone as she planned. I couldn't bring myself to care. You couldn't try to cut someone down and not be prepared for the eventuality that someone would cut back. It gave me an idea though. I just had to convince Tammy's parents first. 

* * *

"I want to quit dance."

Tammy's parents looked up at me from where I stood in front of the television. I had an entire speech planned out. I just needed their attention.

"What?" her mother cried out. "Why?"

"Because," I said, "I think it's time I branched out into other avenues that will be more useful." Tammy's father was watching me carefully. "I have studied dance for years, but if I'm actually going to go to Nashville, I want to be safe. I want to take self defence this year." I kept talking, picking up my speed slightly just to keep them from interrupting. "Think about it, Joni Mitchell, Olivia Newton-John...what do they have in common? They are stars and they have stalkers! If I'm going to be famous, this is a potential...problem I could be dealing with. It's way more common than you'd think." Both her parents had settled, frowning slightly as they thought about what I was saying. It wasn't really comforting on their end. "And we all know what happened here!" Even if I didn't really. "People went missing! One girl is still gone and no one knows what happened to her. I don't want that to be me. So...please?" I ended with a simple question, trying to actually sound like a teenager.

Her parents looked at each other.

"She has a point," her father said. "I don't want our girl out in the world without protection. They just caught that Bundy fellow not that long ago and he had been attacking women for years."

Her mother nodded. "You'd have to keep practicing your dance," she said. "But I'd rather have you safe."

"I will," I promised. I wasn't fully intending to keep it, mostly because I couldn't actually dance.

"And you'll have to pay the difference," her father said. "Dance isn't cheap and I'm sure self defence won't be either." He looked at her mother. "Doesn't hurt to teach fiscal responsibility."

"I will," I said. "I can get a job and-"

"Oh! That reminds me," her mother said suddenly. She smiled at me. "Mrs. Sinclair called earlier and asked if you'd be available to babysit this Friday. Her regular babysitter moved to go to beauty school."

"What?" 

* * *

It turned out that Tammy babysat. I could count on both my hands the few times I spent with children. I had never needed to take a babysitting course or actually take care of kids for money. In fact, I was pretty disinterested in them overall. Especially considering how terrible most of them seemed to be. I couldn't refuse, especially since I now needed the money. This was going to be interesting.

I stood outside the Sinclair house. Tammy's father was waiting to watch that I got in the door so there really was no escape. Not that I was going to take it. I could handle it. How hard could looking after two kids be?

"Tammy! Thank you so much for coming!" Mrs. Sinclair greeted me as she opened the door. I turned back to wave off Tammy's father before smiling at the woman in front of me.

"It's no problem."

"We should be back around midnight," she moved aside to let me in and closed the door behind me. "The numbers are all on the fridge. Lucas is spending the night at Dustin's so you only have Erica. She's upstairs in her room. If she tries to convince you that we said it was fine for her to watch a horror movie, it's not."

"Okay," I said, nodding. I wondered how old she was if she was already trying to pull things over her parents.

"And she can't have any more candy for the night. No matter how much she begs. She's going to end up getting a cavity at that rate." Mrs. Sinclair turned away from me and yelled up the stairs. "Erica! Tammy's here!"

"Hi Tammy," I turned to see a man I figured was Mr. Sinclair coming out of the other kitchen. "How are you?"

"Good, you?"

"Late," he said, looking over at his wife. "Or we're going to be."

She instantly looked at him, "was I the one who couldn't choose a tie?"

"We should go," he said quickly, smiling at both of us. Mrs. Sinclair gave me an amused look and nodded. He grabbed her coat and helped her into it.

"If you need anything, the number for the restaurant is on the fridge."

"I'm sure we'll be fine," I said. I waved them out of the house. "Have a good night! Enjoy the peace!" I called out after them.

"Oh we will!" Mr. Sinclair called back. I closed the door as they got into the car. I looked up the stairs. Time to find out just who Erica was. 

* * *

Finding her bedroom was fairly easy. I could hear her voice coming from her room. I passed by what looked like a typical boys room and the door to her room was closed. I knocked.

There was silence for a moment before someone called out "I'm not here!"

"Alright not here," I called back. "Have you eaten?"

There was a beat of silence. "What do you have?"

"Depends on whether or not you've already had dinner, and what you have, I guess. I'm making me a grilled peanut butter, honey sandwich."

The door opened suddenly. The girl stared up at me with her face crinkled up. "That sounds disgusting."

"Don't knock it til you tried it. Now, do you want one?"

"You're not trying to poison me, are you?" she asked.

"Why? Did you do something worth being poisoned for?" I raised my eyebrows at her.

"No!" she said quickly. I tried not to laugh.

"Then you don't have to worry, do you?" I grinned at her. "Come on, you can tell me what movie you're trying to convince your parents to let you watch and why." I turned and headed back down the stairs. The sound of footsteps and beads clacking together followed. 

* * *

Erica was watching me carefully as I grilled the sandwiches. She didn't look too pleased when I sliced apple to add into them, but she accepted my "trust me" warily.

"So?" I asked. "What's the movie?"

She put her elbows on the counter and looked ready to negotiate. She was so tiny that it looked hilarious.

"Alien," she said, her tone daring me to disagree to it.

"Good movie," I agreed, flipping the sandwiches. "But I can see why your parents don't want you to see it. What's your side of the case?"

She looked at me confused. "What?"

"Why do you want to see it?" I elaborated.

"Because! Sandra has already got to see it and it's been out forever! Who doesn't want to see a girl fighting monsters? I have to deal with having a giant nerd for a brother, I should at least be allowed to see movies I want!"

"Hand me some plates," I said. I took them one by one and plated the sandwiches before cutting them on an angle. I handed one to her. "You make a good point about a female lead. They don't happen often and not in a scifi movie like this one, but you shouldn't want to watch it just because someone else did. That's not a good argument in your favour. You should focus on…" I tried to think of something to say. There were a lot of things that happened in the movie and their actual relevancy and meanings to the world. Many were above this kid's level. "The character Ellen Ripley. There aren't nearly enough strong female role models out there saving the day without needing a man for girls to look up to. Also, tell them that you heard that they show different reactions to fear and how people deal with it. There's also a case of.." I stopped myself. "Never mind, that would spoil some of it. What if you brought Lucas into your argument. Your parents might be more open if it was both of you arguing to see it. Together."

She made a face. "I don't want to watch a movie with that turd."

"I'm just saying to consider your options. Two against two are better odds than one against two. Besides, he can't be that bad."

"You don't have to live with him," she snarked back.

"That's true." I decided to leave it. Clearly this was going to be a case where the siblings got along when they were older. Maybe. "What's your case for nightmares?"

"I don't get scared!" she exclaimed through a mouthful of food.

"Everyone gets scared," I said. "Just in different ways to different things. And those things change too. So, on the off chance you'd get scared and have nightmares, what's your plan?"

"My plan is to not be scared."

I ate my sandwich. "Okay, but consider this. A lot of this movie builds fear without actually showing the monster. It's the constant feeling of being watched, waiting for something to reach out and get the characters and wondering who is going to survive and how. You're telling me you're going to be going to bed in the dark and not wonder if something is there waiting after watching that?"

She scowled at me. "No, I'm not."

"Alright," I said, smiling slightly. I didn't believe her. I had nightmares when my dad let me watch it. "How was the sandwich? Did you survive to tell your friends what your babysitter tried to poison you with?"

"It was better than I expected. Can I have another?"

"Sure." I got up, grabbed her plate and started prepping another sandwich.

"So, does this mean you'll let me watch it?" She asked, hope clear in her voice.

"Hell no," I said. "I gave you arguments you can take to your parents. That's enough for me. Besides, how old are you again? Five?"

"I'm nine, jerk face!"

I felt myself cackle. This kid was great. She was way more entertaining than I expected. "Alright, so you got a few years. Don't worry, by the way," I said over my shoulder, "if they say no. It's a popular movie. There will be more of them. More than needed, except for the one with Michael Biehn." I muttered the last bit, thinking of the franchise just kept going and the attempts to merge it with Predator.

"What?" she asked, suddenly next to me.

I jumped. "What the hell? Did you teleport?"

"I walked," she deadpanned. "Is it done yet?"

"No," I said. "I forgot to add the cyanide."

She glared up at me. "You're so weird."

"Yup," I popped the p. "But at least it makes me interesting."

_[tbc]_


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Hi all! I hope you guys are staying safe and surviving during this time. I've been off work for...almost two months now because of the virus. You'd think that would translate into me writing more, but mostly I've been standing in my kitchen, baking and painting my windows. Not that my neighbours seem to appreciate it. I hope you're all staying sane. I know I'm trying. I also hope you enjoy this new chapter.

**Chapter Five**

"I'm leaving!" I called out to the house. The dog was growling at me from the couch. I tried to ignore it. Tammy's mother came out of the kitchen drying a plate.

"Buster! Stop! Honestly, I don't know what's gotten into him." I did. "Where are you going again?"

"The library," I said.

"Okay, make sure you're back before three. Dad found you a class and it starts at three thirty."

"Really? Already?"

"Yes, so make sure your home so he can take you. You can take the car if you want."

"Alright!"

She turned to go back into the kitchen before she stopped herself and turned back. "Oh! Tammy!" I turned back to her. "Did you borrow my sapphire earrings? I know you asked, but did you?"

I stared at her. I had no idea whether or not Tammy took her earrings. If she did, it was before I showed up. "Um...no?"

She didn't look impressed. "I'm not mad, if you did. I just want to know. You can tell me."

"I didn't take them." It came out harsher than I intended. It was weirdly enough the truth but I hoped Tammy didn't. "Least, I don't think so."

Her mother sighed. "We used to talk, Tammy. What happened?" I clenched my jaw. There was nothing to say to that. She turned and walked back into the kitchen without another word.

I grabbed the keys by the door and left the house. I felt terrible. I didn't know how to give this woman back her daughter. I also just wanted my mom. It wasn't the same. It wasn't fair to either of us.

I tried not to think about it and focused on my goal for the library. I had wanted to see if there was anything on time travel, anything even slightly related to my situation. I also wanted to find something to read just for fun. Without internet and instant TV, it got boring fast, especially when I was at home. I was grateful that Tammy at least had her license. Or what passed for a G2 back home. Her mother tended to need the car during the week, but apparently the weekend was more open to me than I thought.

I got into the car and started it when it hit me. Where was the library?

* * *

The library was quiet as I entered. Considering I had no idea what exactly I was looking for, and no idea where it would be, I headed straight to the desk. The woman behind it was fairly young, maybe a little older than I actually was. Her hair was curled and pinned back and her glasses were large and in style.

"Excuse me?" I asked.

"Yes?" she asked, staring up at me.

"I was wondering if you'd be able to help me. I'm looking for books on time travel, maybe fantasy?" I was hoping she'd show me everything she had so that I could pick something that might be useful.

"I could," she said, peering at me over her glasses.

"I would greatly appreciate it. Please."

She smiled slightly. "Well, you're certainly polite." She stood up and moved over to a shelving unit. She pulled out a long thin draw and I watched as she quickly skimmed through it. I was a bit impressed as she pulled out a card. "Fantasy, numbers 345.43 to 345.57. Time travel would be in the same section."

"Thank you," I said. "Which way to 345? Left or right?"

"Left," she answered. "Third row from the front."

"Thank you," I said again.

She looked a bit surprised but gave me a full smile back. I waved and headed for the row she told me.

The fantasy section wasn't as large as I was used to back home. I took my time to read the back of the ones I didn't recognize, keeping an eye out for anything that might help. It seemed ridiculous but I wasn't about to discount something that someone else might think of. I needed all the help I could get.

My eyes lit up at ones I did recognize. They had Pawns of Prophecy! And Elfstones of Shannara. I picked them, as well as Dragonlance: Dragons of Autumn Twilight and another couple of books that mentioned a time travelling character. I did a brief look over the other shelves nearby, but I saw nothing else that really spoke to me. I grabbed the books and headed for the counter.

As I put them on the counter, the librarian looked at me.

"Only five at a time," she said.

"Oh! That makes sense, must be hard to keep track of all of them. I'm sorry." I looked at the books and tried to decide. I took out Timescape and motioned to the pile. "Can I leave these here while I put this back? Or do you have a system, like, outside of the numbers that keeps track of what books people are interested in by reshelving?"

"Now that is an interesting idea," she said. It was something that I had learned they did back home. It was a way of tracking how many people used the library and making sure things were put back properly. "You can leave it. I'll put it back."

"Are you sure?" I asked. "It would only take a second."

"I'm sure. I certainly have others to put away. One more won't hurt."

"Thank you," I said and handed over the book. She put it on a cart near here and then took the small pile.

"Library card?" She asked and I handed it over. One by one, she opened the book to the back and took out the slip of paper that was tucked in a small sleeve. She stamped it and set it aside, before stamping the date on the sleeve. I watched as she wrote Tammy's name on the cards before she finally handed the books, and my library card over.

"They are due two weeks from now. The date is in the back."

"Perfect," I said, taking the books. "Thank you for all of your help."

She smiled at me. It really lit up her face. "You're welcome, Miss. Thompson."

I headed out of the library. It wasn't much, but it was a start and at least I wouldn't be bored. I hoped.

* * *

I had ended up taking the long way to the library in my efforts to find it. Luckily, I had enough time that I was able to take the same route back. Driving always felt like freedom. Especially if I was on my own. I could blast the music and take off across the country if I really wanted to. It was nice to know that the feeling hadn't changed like so much of me had.

Most of the road was empty. It was weird to be driving down it and be surrounded by forests. I made a mental note not to drive here at night because the lack of street lights would up the creep factor a lot. It was weirdly comforting in the day though.

There was a sudden sound of sirens.

I looked in the rearview mirror to see a cop truck behind me. I pulled over, thinking they'd pass but they stopped. Fuck. What did I do? I hadn't broken any laws that I knew of. I made a mental note to go over a drivers handbook or something just to clear up any differences.

The man got out of the truck and sauntered over. I rolled down my window. He had a hat that just made me think of westerns, despite the fact that it wasn't a stetson. I wasn't used to cops wearing anything other than the small hats they occasionally wore back home.

"License and registration?"

I turned in my seat to grab both of them. I couldn't see the man's eyes but he was attractive. In a rugged, dad bod kind of way. I was more interested in it than I expected. I handed them over.

"Do you know how fast you were going?"

"Uh…" I tried to think quickly. I knew it was about 80kmh, but I wasn't sure what it was in miles per hour. "Judging on the fact you pulled me over, I'm guessing too fast?"

He took off his sunglasses to glare down at me. I tried not to smile. He was hot when he wasn't impressed. "No shit," he said. "You were going about 50 miles an hour. This ain't the freeway kid."

I leaned forward, placing my elbow on the wheel of the car and propping up my chin with my hand. "I had no idea, but I can't say I'm too disappointed in myself if it means I met you." I smiled at him. I watched his eyes widen slightly.

"Cut the sass," he said sharply. "I ain't giving you a ticket, just a warning. Got it Thompson?"

"You can warn me all you want, _sir._" I knew in the back of my mind, I really should have stopped myself. I was already likely bright red. I couldn't help it though. He was the type of attractive that was so underrated and was gaining popularity and acceptance back home. He didn't seem appreciative of my responses. He had stood up straight and took a step back as he handed me back my license and the car's registration.

"Don't let me catch you again, or it won't be a warning, it'll be a trip to the station."

My eyes lit up and I couldn't help but tease, "will there be handcuffs?" I really needed to stop talking. I watched as he rubbed a hand down his face and muttered to himself that he was too old for this shit. He wasn't much older than I was, at least, I didn't think so. At most maybe ten years.

"Kid, stop fucking around and go home. Don't make me call your folks." He turned and started to walk away.

"Sure thing, Officer Daddy." My eyes widened as I spoke out loud. As I went to reel myself back in horror, my elbow slipped off of the wheel and I felt my face smack into the horn. The horn honked loudly. Oh my god. If it was possible to turn invisible out of sheer will and embarrassment, I would have succeeded in that moment. I could not believe myself. "Sorry!" I squeaked, closing my eyes tightly and praying that he left before I could do any more damage to myself, or Tammy.

He seemed to be of the same mindset, or at least wanted to be far away from the teenager hitting on him, because I heard his truck rumble to a start and drive off.

"Oh thank god," I muttered to myself, trying to get my face to stop blushing. "What is wrong with me?"

* * *

I was nearly late by the time I got home that I pretty much went straight from driving one car to riding shotgun in another.

"This place was recommended by someone at work," Tammy's father said.

"Oh, and they like it?"

"Their kid goes here. He's a lot younger, but I've already spoken to them on the phone and they're happy to take you."

"That's great," I said. I had a sudden fear that I would be in an introduction class with a bunch of kids. Well, little kids. Especially since I had no idea what type of self defence I was signed up for.

He parked the car and looked at me as he opened the door. "Well, come on. It's going to start soon."

It turned out that the class was a Karate class. It was likely gaining more popularity because of the movie The Karate Kid, but I wasn't expecting to actually attend a class. I didn't know what I expected, really, considering it was a small town.

"So, you want to learn Karate?" The instructor asked. Tammy's father was waiting outside and people were slowly starting to come in and get ready in the main room.

"I want to learn to defend myself," I answered.

"Why?"

"Because the world's a pretty scary place, especially for a woman."

He nodded and motioned for me to head to the desk. "You'll have to wear this every class. You'll start at the beginning, just like everyone else."

"Will it be with people my age?" I asked.

"No, does that bother you?"

"A little, but I'll get over it." It was too small a detail for me to sweat over.

"Good. Get ready. We start in ten minutes." 

My fears were only a little unfounded. I wasn't with people Tammy's age. They were closer to mine. It was a small class, with only about ten of us. Surprisingly enough, I recognized two of them. The librarian from earlier was there, and so was Ms. Callahan, the secretary from Tammy's school.

"Miss. Thompson, what brings you here?" Ms. Callahan asked as she stood next to me in the line as we waited for the teacher.

"I wanted to learn to defend myself," I said with a shrug.

"This wouldn't have anything to do with a certain incident this week with certain students, would it?" She raised her eyebrows at me.

"Nope," I said quickly. The thought hadn't even crossed my mind.

"Beth!" We both turned to see the librarian moving into place next to Ms. Callahan. "How have you been?"

"Marisa, it's good to see you. Let me introduce you to one of the students at my school. This is Miss. Thompson."

I held out my hand and shook hers. "We met earlier today though I didn't get your name. Sorry about that."

"Marisa Williams," the librarian said. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

We didn't get much further into the conversation because the instructor had come in and called for attention. The exercises seemed fairly simple at first, but I had to be corrected multiple times. I kept thinking I would move the way I used to, the way it felt like I should, but I didn't. Tammy was too tall and her limbs were longer than mine had been.

* * *

By the end of the lesson, I was exhausted but I was beginning to feel like it was my body. Maybe because I was learning something new and forced to really use it. It was weird to think about. I waved goodbye and ran out to Tammy's father.

"That good?" he asked.

"It was great!" I smiled widely.

He smiled warmly at me as he got in the car. "Good. It's twice a week. Tuesday evenings and Saturdays."

"Thank you, dad," I said. "I really mean it."

"I'm glad you liked it."

The drive back to the house was quiet and I figured it would remain that way until we got the house.

"You've been making a lot of changes this year," her father said quietly. "I think it's scaring your mother a bit, the idea that we're getting closer to you leaving."

I stared out of the window. I wasn't sure what to say.

"This is going to be a big year for you, we know that. I just hope you know that it doesn't all have to happen at once. You have time."

I turned to smile at him. It was clear that he was going to miss her, that he likely already did. I felt my throat tighten. Tears were starting to build up in my eyes. "I know."

"Good," he cleared his throat. "Good."

I didn't know how to respond. It was just...I wasn't Tammy. I wasn't Tammy and he wasn't my father. God, it was so sad. I tried not to laugh as I couldn't help but think, _Alexa, play Despacito._

[tbc]


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: A/N: I've been working on AoS and not liking how it's turning out. So while I figure that out, here's another chapter of Tammy Takes on the Upside Down. I thought we might need something light (at least lighter than some of my other stuff). I hope all of you are doing well and are safe. 

**Chapter Six**

If I was going to succeed at self defence, I would need to get into shape. At least, work out enough to gain a full recognition of Tammy's body. Karate was one thing, but I needed more. My best bet, the easiest thing to do would be to start running. Running was boring though. I would need music.

Radioshack was in the heart of the town. It was busier than I expected, more cluttered. There were a lot of boxes and large electronics. I was so used to everything being small. It was weird.

"Hi there! Welcome to Radio Shack! My name's Bob, anything in particular you're looking for?"

I turned to look at the man that had come up to me. He was a bit shorter than me and he looked vaguely familiar. I couldn't place it though.

"Hi!" I said. "I could definitely use help."

"It's a little overwhelming, isn't it?" He smiled at me and it was comforting to see that he was just being friendly.

"A bit. Technology always is though, especially at how fast it advances."

His smile turned into a grin. "A fan! Well, welcome to the den of discovery. We got everything! What are you looking for?"

"Um…" I tried to think of the right terms for what I was looking for. "Tapes. Cassettes for music."

"Well, we have those," he laughed slightly. "Come on, I'll show you where they are."

Bob turned out to be entertaining. He was quick on his feet, funny and really genuine. It was a rare trait in a guy. He was also totally in love with his girlfriend, considering he had mentioned her at least three times so far. It was sweet.

"Are you sure you have the right stereo? You want to make sure it'll be a clear recording."

"I'm...pretty sure," I said. Truth be told, I had no idea what type of stereo Tammy had. I just knew that she had one.

"Alright, well these should work. If they don't, if the recording isn't great, come back. We'll get you hooked up with the right ones."

"Thank you, I really appreciate it," I held out my hand. "I'm Tammy Thompson, by the way."

"Bob Newby," he said before shaking my hand. "Let's get you cashed out and you'll be making your mixes in no time."

I left the store with the cassettes. Now, all I had to do was try to remember how to record them.

* * *

Going back to school felt like I was dragging my own corpse around. I was exhausted. My body hurt more than it did the day before, and I was going back to the class that night. I couldn't wait until Tammy's body acclimated to it.

I had managed to survive gym class by sheer will. I heard the laughter as I got to the locker I used to store my stuff in the change room. I was getting pretty used to hearing whispers as I walked by, but laughter was new. As soon as I opened the locker, I knew why.

My clothes were gone.

I looked over to where the laughing got louder. Carol was standing there with two other girls.

"Lose something?" She snarked.

"I think I just saw some hair falling out, Carol. You should get that looked at." Her eyes narrowed, but as I turned back to my locker I saw her reach up for her head.

She had stolen my clothes. I looked down at what I was wearing. The gym uniform consisted of tight red shorts that came to my mid thigh and a white t-shirt. It wasn't the worst I could wear. I shrugged, grabbed my bag and closed the door. If they thought this would embarrass me, they were wrong. I had come from a time where a person was encouraged to feel comfortable in whatever they wore regardless of their body type.

I left the locker room and I could feel their stares on my back. Let them talk.

* * *

"Miss. Thompson. Miss. Thompson!"

I was nearly at shop class when one of the teachers had finally called my name. Whispers and cat calls had followed me since I left the gym. I had ignored most of them and gave the finger to others. I turned as soon as I remembered he was talking to me.

"Yes?"

It was a teacher that I didn't recognize. Tammy had to have had him before if he knew who she was.

"What are you wearing?"

"Gym clothes," I said. He stormed towards me.

"I can see that. Where are your regular clothes?"

I shrugged. "Good question. I put them in the locker for gym, and when I came back, they were gone. It was almost like magic." He did not look amused.

"This is completely inappropriate! You cannot go wandering the halls like...this."

I knew exactly what he was trying to imply. I put my hands on my hips and glared at him. "Like what?"

His jaw clenched and I could see him trying to figure out how to phrase what he really wanted to say. "You cannot go around the school wearing inappropriate clothing."

"With all due respect, sir, this is school regulated clothing. If it was inappropriate, we shouldn't be wearing it for gym class, now would we?"

He grabbed my arm. "That's it, to the principal's office."

* * *

I waved at Ms. Callahan as I was nearly dragged into the room.

"Mr. Hughs! What is the meaning of this?" Ms. Callahan stood up at the sight of us.

"She is completely insubordinate and purposefully causing a ruckus wearing this outfit outside of her gym class!"

I pulled my arm from his grasp. "Excuse you, sir, but at what point was I being insubordinate? You asked why I was wearing this and I told you my clothes went missing out of my locker. I then stated that this outfit couldn't be inappropriate because it is a standard gym uniform."

"Do you see what I mean?" he waved an arm towards me. "She is clearly ignoring the rules, likely wanting the boys following her like dogs with their tongues hanging out of their mouths! It is clear that she is doing it for the attention, just like taking Shop!"

Ms. Callahan was watching both of us closely but had yet to say anything. I made a face at Mr. Hughs.

"I don't think I like what you're suggesting, _sir_," I enunciated clearly. "This sounds like you were the one looking at me inappropriately." He made a noise of outrage. I cut him off before he could interrupt. "And it clearly states in the rules and regulations that students must wear appropriate clothing including skirts that are no shorter than their fingers reach. It does not say that gym clothing must only be worn in the gym. Also, if this outfit is so inappropriate, then why are we made to wear it in the one class where we are moving the most? Doesn't that sound off to you?"

He stepped towards me. "Listen you little hussy-"

"Mr. Hughs!" The principal called out, breaking up any further impending fight.

I jutted out my chin towards him, daring him to continue. I had memorized the rules when I was choosing courses. I had years of experience in dealing with uncooperative males.

"_That_ was completely inappropriate," the principal continued. "You cannot talk to a student in such a manner."

"But she-"

The principal raised a hand to stop him. "Regardless of the present issue. Now, Miss. Thompson, why are you not in your street clothes?"

"As I told Mr. Hughs, I put them in my locker at the beginning of class and when I went back, they were gone. Thus, I had no choice. I stand by my point though, if this outfit is inappropriate, then we shouldn't be wearing it in gym class. Also, I do not appreciate being spoken to by a teacher like this. I want to call my father." I aimed for Tammy's father because I had a feeling they'd listen to him more. I also figured that he'd be upset enough if I phrased it that a male teacher was gawking at me. I just had to get them to give me his number. "Now, please."

* * *

I was correct in my assumption that Tammy's father would be upset. He was furious. Ms. Callahan had lent me an extra sweater of hers as I sat in the office. I could hear him yelling from my spot near her desk. It was great. It also shouldn't have come to this.

Tammy's father walked out of the office. "Let's go Tammy."

I followed after him, waving to Ms. Callahan and hearing the principal still arguing with Mr. Hughs. "What happened?"

"He's been warned. A written one in his file about his conduct. If he ever talks to you like that again, you tell me, got it?" He looked at me as he opened the car door.

"Yup," I said. I had never seen her father like this. It was a typical protective father anger, and it made me miss my dad. He was sweet until someone did something to the people he cared about.

He drove me home and I spent the rest of the night telling the story to her mother and then listening as Tammy's father argued about it over dinner.

"Well," her mother said. "Maybe he had a point?"

"He did not have a point!" I snapped, shocking them both. "It shouldn't matter what a girl wears, men and boys have no right to stare and gawk and think that the woman owes them something because they're attracted to her! She doesn't!"

"If anyone tries to convince you that you owe them something, I give you full permission to use the skills you gain at class and knock them out," her father said, pointing his fork at me.

"Sam!"

"Deana!"

I grinned at him and he winked at me before he continued eating.

* * *

"Hey Tammy!" I looked across the cafeteria to see someone waving at me. Was I supposed to know who them? Did Tammy? I waved back before I sat down across from Robin.

"Did you really get Mr. Hughs fired?"

"What?" I looked at her. She was leaning forward, arms crossed on the table. "No!"

She shrugged and leaned back. "That's the rumour. They said he hit on you and dragged you to the office where your father caught him and got him fired." My mouth fell open.

"Wow. That's not what happened. He dragged me to the office because I was wearing my gym clothes to class because Carol stole my regular clothes out of my locker. He didn't appreciate me telling him that they couldn't be inappropriate because they were standard issue. Then in the office he accused me of wandering purposefully to get male attention and I called him out saying that if that's how he felt, it was likely he was looking at me inappropriately. Then he called me a hussy. The principal heard him and I told her I wanted to call my father." I started to eat my food.

"You don't do anything by halves, do you?"

"Nope," I said. "Apparently not."

"Well, you certainly keep things interesting."

I grinned at her. "That's my goal in life. To keep things interesting. How else am I going to make sure I'm not bored. You don't mind, do you? That people are talking about me?"

She looked confused. "No? Does it bother you?"

"Not really," I shrugged. "It doesn't really matter what they say about me. I know my truth and if others can't handle it or want to talk and speculate instead of just asking me, that's on them. If they're going to believe the rumours, that's not my problem. I have bigger fish to fry." I took a bite of my sandwich. Robin was good people. If I wanted to actually cultivate a friendship, we needed to hang out outside of school. "Hey, what are you doing this weekend?"

"Nothing, why?" She looked a little suspicious.

"Want to sleep over? I have Karate at four but I'll be done by five."

"Um, sure?"

"Great!" I grinned at her. "Want me to pick you up when I'm done? We can get movies, junk food...all the good stuff."

"Yeah," she nodded slowly before smiling. "Yeah, alright."

_[tbc]_


	7. Chapter 7

** A/N: Thank you all for your patience. This is one of my favourite chapters simply because of who's in it. I hope you enjoy. **

**Chapter Seven**

_"She's not even singing anymore." _

It was one line. One line that I heard that someone said as I walked by them that struck me. Despite all my efforts to assimilate, to adjust to Tammy's life while making it interesting enough and staying in her realm of interests, I had forgotten something major. Tammy sang. Off key and all the time. Logically it was something that could easily be fixed, but I was suddenly afraid that somehow someone would realize the truth. I wasn't her.

I tried to put it out of my mind. It was a small detail that I could fix. I just didn't know how. It seemed like everything was adding up. It had been the most stressful week I had had so far. Carol actively tried to trip me in the hallways. The one teacher, Hughs, kept glaring at me every time he saw me and people had kept trying to talk to me, to get me to tell them "the truth." They all acted as if they knew Tammy, and maybe they did, it was a small town. Everyone tended to know everybody. I didn't. I just tried my best in answering without ever having to actually say someone's name.

* * *

I picked Robin up outside of the house she gave me direction to. She was already outside when I showed up after my self defence class.

"Hey," I said. I had been looking forward to this. I hadn't had a sleep over since my twenty fifth birthday and that was more just people passed out at my house. My birthday was in November. It was coming up and no one was going to know.

"Is this what you wear to your class?" Robin's voice broke through my thoughts. She threw her bag at the floor by her feet. I was still in the uniform they gave to the students.

"Yup." I grinned at her. "What? Don't you think it suits me?"

"Maybe, if you were in fighting The Karate Kid."

"You know he's got nothing on me," I grinned.

* * *

We sat in Tammy's room. Her mother had brought up drinks and snacks. She seemed pleased to meet Robin, if a little uncertain. She had pulled me aside at one point early in the night to ask where Ally was, if she was coming. I told her this was a time for Robin and I to build our friendship, to become better friends. After all, wasn't it good to have more friends? She didn't have an argument for that.

"What's your favourite song?"

Robin was going through Tammy's records and cassettes. She didn't look too impressed but then again neither was I when I went through them. I had no idea what Tammy's favourite song was.

"I don't know. There are so many options." It was a lame answer. I hated it when people asked that question. "How can someone choose one song?"

"Okay," she smiled at me. "Do you have a favourite artist?"

I tried to think quickly. I couldn't say that my favourite artist was Pink! Or Green Day or. Blink 182. None of those existed yet. I settled on something I felt was safe. "Queen."

"Queen's great, but they have nothing on Cher," she said, holding up a tape. I threw a pillow at her. She fell down laughing. "What?"

"Who's your favourite then?" I asked.

"Definitely Cher." I threw another pillow at her.

* * *

When Robin was asleep, I lay in silence. We watched movies and stayed up late talking about what felt like everything under the sun. She had offered to do my hair but the mess of curls seemed too much for both of us. It made me miss my hair. When she finally fell asleep though it felt like the world was crashing around me. When had I last felt like this? With my own friends back home? People I may never see again who knew everything about me? Robin was great but she didn't know me. She thought she was befriending Tammy. I was trying not to cry. It wouldn't be fair to Robin, but none of this had been fair to me, or to Tammy, wherever she was.

I didn't want to feel like this. That whatever I tried to do, I couldn't find my place here. I was always going to be Tammy. I just wanted to be me again.

* * *

I sat in front of Tammy's stereo. There was a trick to it, I was certain. I just couldn't figure it out. I needed the music. I needed stuff to listen to while I worked out and I needed to listen to stuff so I could memorize the lyrics and sing along. I had to do something. I needed this. I stared at the radio. This wasn't working. I needed help. Where was youtube when I needed it?

I couldn't go to just anyone. No one would understand why Tammy Thompson who was well known for singing and taping herself, suddenly couldn't figure out how to record music. It wouldn't make sense. Who would believe that a teenage girl didn't know how to make mixtapes?

I walked into Radioshack. It was fantastically empty and I was exceedingly grateful for it. I had only a vague idea of what I was going to say.

"Welcome to Radioshack! I'm Bob..oh hey! How'd those mix tapes work out for you?" I was grateful that it was him. He seemed the type that he wouldn't make fun of me, but would actually help.

"Terrible," I said. "I don't know what I did wrong but it wasn't working."

"Alright, take me through the process."

"I tried everything. I ran the tapes back, I tried recording my voice. I tried recording the radio. It kept playing back fuzz and I don't know what I'm doing wrong but I have to be doing something wrong because it didn't work. Why didn't it work?" I felt myself talking faster and faster. I couldn't stop myself "I swear I'm not incompetent! This is so stupid! It's not rocket science! I can work photoshop and do basic html programming but I can't figure out a stupid tape machine! Why are these even a thing?!" I started to cry. God it was so stupid and I was tired of these emotions.

"Hey, hey hey, it's okay!" Bob stepped forward and wrapped an arm around my shoulders. "Come on, sit down. It'll be okay." He led me to a chair by the cash register. He grabbed a box of kleenex and held it out to me. "It's okay."

"No it's not!" I cried out. "I can't even work a stupid tape deck! I want to go home!"

"Do you need me to call your family? Friends? How can I help?" He was so earnest and it just made me cry harder. I didn't want to do this anymore. I was so sick of being stuck in the past, or being stuck in someone else's body.

"Can you build me a time machine?" I asked with a small laugh, shaking my head at the thought. "No one can help me." I sniffled. "Not here." God, that just made me cry more. What was wrong with me?

"What do you mean, not here?"

Oh god. My face must have dropped because he went to reassure me very quickly. "Hey, hey it's okay! If you need help, we can get you some help. Or we can sit here until you feel better. Whatever you want. Don't worry."

"If only it was that simple," I said dryly. I grabbed some of the kleenex and tried to clean myself as I did my best to stop crying.

"Why isn't it that simple?" he asked. His voice was soft, and he was standing by me but still giving me space.

"You wouldn't believe me," I said before blowing my nose. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to have a meltdown."

"Sounds to me like you needed it." He handed me more kleenex and smiled. "What's so hard to believe?"

I stared at him. I barely knew this guy but I wasn't sure that I had ever met anyone who seemed as kind and earnest as he was. At least not anyone grown. I couldn't tell him. I knew that. It was a bad idea and he wasn't going to believe me. If anything it was just going to get me locked up in an asylum or something. I couldn't…and yet there was something about him.

"Do you believe in time travel?"

"Time travel?" He smiled a bit more widely. "Well, that depends. Are we talking about something that'll happen in the future, with like a machine?"

"No, more...spontaneous." Before I could stop myself, I told him everything. Well, almost everything. I didn't tell him that I was pretty sure this was a television show. No one should deal with that sort of existential crisis.

* * *

"Wow."

I swallowed dryly before standing up. "I'm sorry. I made a mistake. I shouldn't have-"

"No!" Bob nearly shouted. "No, it's okay. I won't...I won't tell anyone, if that's what you're worried about."

"You believe me?"

"Sounds almost too fantastical not to believe you. How long have you been here? As...her?" he motioned towards me.

"Few weeks now. Since the start of September."

"And you haven't told anyone?" He looked concerned.

"What am I going to say? Sorry, I woke up and am possessing your daughter? I don't know where she is. They'd commit me or they'd...there's a government facility in town."

"Yeah," he nodded. "Hawkins Electric."

I shook my head. "I doubt that's all they are. If they found out, I'd be gone faster than you can blink. I don't trust them not to...experiment, to try to take Tammy apart to figure this out. And then question me on everything that's going to happen."

"People shouldn't know their future," he nodded. "Yeah, I've read enough sci fi novels to know that much. Okay," he clapped his hands together and smiled. "What can I do to help?"

I stared at him in surprise. Was this how people felt when I said things they didn't expect. "What? You want to help me?"

"Sure," he nodded. "You're all alone in this world. You need someone on your side. I'm not much, but they don't call me Bob the Brain for nothing."

I felt myself start to cry again as he smiled at me. "I'm sorry," I said, waving a hand in my face to try and stop myself.

"It's okay," he said again.

I pushed myself forward off of the chair and hugged him tightly. He couldn't know how much this meant. He hugged me back.

"It's okay Kate."

I cried harder. I hadn't heard my name in weeks.

"It's okay. We'll figure this out."

Bob took me through the process of recording from radios onto tapes and from a full tape to a blank one. It was a small thing but it was the first step in continuing the ruse of being Tammy. He also promised to look into the books and stuff he had at home, to see if they had anything on time travel.

"This is too much," I said quietly. "You don't need to do this."

"Nonsense," Bob said, smiling. "It's barely anything. Come by this week, if you can. I'll introduce you to Joyce. You don't have to tell her anything, but she's a good woman to know. You'll like her."

"Well, if you do, that's already high praise." I hugged him again. "Thank you."

"If it gets too much," he said, "you can find me. You're not alone anymore, okay? You have a friend on your side."

I left the store feeling more light hearted than I thought was possible. Despite my reservations, the lack of thinking when I spoke, telling Bob was turning out to be a good decision. The fact that someone knew, someone finally knew, was a relief. The sound of my name also sounded better than anything I had heard since I got there. It made me realise that I needed to change Tammy's name. I needed to hear my name. From everyone.

_[tbc] _


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Here we are back at it again! Thank you all for your support and patience! I've been in the process of rewriting a huge SPN fanfic that I originally started back in 2009. It's finished, I'm just in the editing stages. Once that's done you'll get more updates here...and some of my other fics. I hope you enjoy this chapter. It was a fun one. As always please let me know what you think.

**Chapter Eight**

"I want to change my name."

The shock was palpable. Tammy's mother had dropped her fork. They were both staring at me in shock. I had to do it now though. The conversation with Bob had proved that. I needed something to help prove I was me. My reflection wasn't me. Nothing felt like me. I needed this.

"What? Why? To what? Tamara is a beautiful name!" Her mother was not taking it well. Tammy's father was staring at me silently.

"It's not that," I said. "I was thinking about this, and I want to go by my middle name when I go to Nashville. I was thinking of shortening Katherine to Kate. Tammy is just way too close to Tiffany and I don't want people to automatically assume I'll be anything like her, I want to form my own identity."

"I don't understand," her mother said. "_Kate_?" She said it like it was something bad.

"Just, out in public. In school. I'd still be Tammy at home." It was the only thing I could try to promise. "Please," I begged. "It's really important to me."

Tammy's parents looked at each other. There was a silent conversation happening between them and I tried to give them space. I stared at my plate and ate silently.

"We'll talk about it," her father said. "And we'll let you know."

I gave them both a small smile. "Thank you." We finished eating in silence. It was awkward and I prayed silently to whatever higher power was there that they'd agree. I needed this while I tried to find my way home.

* * *

Her mother came to my room that night as I was stretching and getting ready for bed. Tammy, despite being so tall, was extraordinarily flexible. It was kind of amazing. I was nowhere near this flexible in my life. It had to be the dance. I wondered how long she had been doing it for.

"Honey?" Her mother knocked on the door before she entered with a soft smile. "Can we talk?"

I got up off the floor and sat next to her on the bed. It was clear where Tammy got her height from considering I was pretty equal to her mother.

"I can't say that I understand what is happening, or where you're coming from. I know you've always planned to leave, to become a star, and maybe it's just getting real for me. You're my baby and seeing you like this, these past few weeks, I just...I don't know. It's like you're a whole new person. I feel like I don't know you anymore. You're so strong and confident. You're so much your father and...I don't want you to grow up too fast, okay? Not yet. And if it means that much to you, we'll accept you going by Kate. You'll just always be Tammy-bear to us."

I felt myself start to cry. Again. Her mother was so sweet, and supportive and I could understand how Tammy thought she could take on the world if this was who she grew up with. It just...it broke my heart because I wasn't Tammy. I never would be. The changes she saw weren't her daughter growing up, she was possessed by an older woman. By me.

"Oh honey, don't cry." Her mother hugged me tightly. "It's just a name, right? We'll always be here for you and we'll always love you." She kissed the top of my head. I hugged her back tightly. I tried to hug her for Tammy, and I tried to imagine I was hugging my own mother. It wasn't the same though.

* * *

It was a process getting people to call me Kate. I had to register it with the school. The first one to accept it was Ms. Callahan. She looked over the papers I had signed from Tammy's parents and smiled.

"Kate suits you," she said. I knew I liked her.

"Thank you."

"If you have any issues with your teachers, let me know. We'll get them straightened out." She was officially one of my favourite people.

"Will do. Thanks again!"

Robin was easy to convince because she had already heard of my plan. She agreed and made me promise to correct her if she got it wrong too often. Ally was a whole other story.

"Kate? Why would you want to be called Kate?" She asked me as she opened her locker.

"Why not? What's wrong with Kate?"

"What's not wrong with it?" She made a face. "It's so...common."

"That's going to be the beauty of it. Besides, people probably didn't think Cher or Madonna would be a good idea but look at them now!"

"That's because they're Cher and Madonna. You're...you."

It was my turn to make a face. "Wow. Way to be rude."

"I'm not being rude," she said. "I'm telling the truth. You're not in the same class as them. It's a fact."

"Forget rude, you're being a bitch." I turned and walked away. If I had stayed I was going to say something worse and I still felt inclined to try and keep that friendship for Tammy. It had obviously meant something to her and I didn't want her to be totally lost when she came back.

"Oh my god, Tammy! You're so dramatic!" I heard her call out after me. I kept walking.

* * *

I walked into Karate class and quickly changed. Marissa and Ms. Callahan were already there and hailed me to them as soon as I entered.

"How did it go?" Ms. Callahan asked.

"Pretty well," I said. "So far at least. It's still early."

"How did what go?" Marissa asked. We settled into our stretches.

"I'm changing my name. Sort of. I'm asking people to call me Kate instead of Tammy. It's my middle name."

Marissa looked at me over her glasses before she nodded. "I can see it."

"That's what I said," Ms. Callahan said. "Kate suits you more."

"Thank you." I smiled at them. "I feel like a Kate."

The teacher entered the classroom and we fell silent, moving into formation. He ran us through the stretches and exercises before he stopped us and motioned us to move to the side.

"Now," he said, "I will show you how to escape this hold. You," he pointed to one of the women at the side. "Come. Let us demonstrate."

He showed the hold and how, when done right, someone could completely flip the person holding them, causing them to let go and land on their backs. He then got the woman to try and flip him. It took a couple of attempts but she did it. She looked completely shocked that she threw him onto his back.

"Woo!" I called out and clapped. "Way to go!"

A few people looked surprised, including the teacher. Marissa next to me started clapping and cheered as well. The woman who flipped him blushed deeply and nearly ran back into line.

"Who's next?" He asked. There was no response.

I stepped forward. "I'll do it."

He waved me forward. He showed me how to do the hold, and then how to escape it. It took me a few tries. He was nearly equal height to Tammy and I was surprised by how easy flipping him was once I got the hang of it. Marissa and Ms. Callahan both clapped and cheered for me when I succeeded. I grinned at them and waved before heading back into position. This was fun.

After everyone was finished, he paired us up so that we got to practice the holds and releases. I was matched with an older woman I didn't know. She was shorter than me so it was awkward to both flip her and try to hold her. She did incredibly and when I told her, she thanked me profusely. I grinned back. Even getting flipped ass over kettle and likely bruising part of my back, I felt good leaving the class.

* * *

It was a Wednesday night and I had to babysit.

The Sinclairs had called me earlier that week, asking if I was available to look after both of the children since they had plans. Something to do with Mr. Sinclair's office, but I wasn't sure and I didn't ask. I agreed though. I wasn't about to turn down money.

I didn't have to find Erica this time. Though I heard her as soon as I entered the house. Both the Sinclair children were in the kitchen, arguing as only siblings could.

"That sounds like the grossest thing I have ever heard!"

"You're the grossest thing I've ever seen! I'm telling her not to make you any! Just go play with your dolls in your room and leave us alone!"

"You little twerp!"

"Well," I drawled as I entered the kitchen. The two kids were each standing on a side of the island, glaring at each other. "This sounds cozy."

Erica looked the same with her hair still in braids. She was wearing overalls that I was sure were in style but I wasn't certain they ever should be. Lucas, I assumed, was the boy across from her. He looked like he was ready to go trekking in the woods instead of playing board games like Erica had suggested he did. He looked familiar. I couldn't place it though. It was likely the pictures of him around the house but I wasn't sure.

"It's not," Erica said. "He was leaving."

"No, I'm not," Lucas snapped back. "I think I'll make myself comfortable." He went to the table and sat down, making a show out of putting up his feet. I raised my eyebrows.

"Your mother lets you put your feet on the table?" He looked at me and slowly lowered them. "I thought not. What's this I hear about making something?"

"Can you make me and you some of those sandwiches you made us last time?" I clearly heard her exclusion of Lucas, and so could he judging from his "hey!"

"What's in it for me?" I asked.

Both the siblings looked at each other and I tried not to smile. Despite all their fighting, they were still willing to use each other as backup.

"What do you want?" Erica crossed her arms.

"Hmm…" I made a show of thinking about it. "No fights for bedtime. If I say it's time, you go without complaint."

Erica seemed to be thinking of it before she finally nodded. Lucas just sighed and said "fine."

"One more condition," I said. "Call me Kate."

* * *

"Now, the trick is the slice the apple thinly. That way you get a bit of the crunch but not too much." Lucas and Erica were watching me make the sandwiches carefully. Lucas still looked disgusted but Erica had shoved him out of her space until he had finally moved to the other side of me. I placed the apple in the sandwiches before finally putting them together and onto a frying pan. Erica was bouncing slightly. Her eagerness was a little infectious because it just made me smile to know she liked it. Lucas had yet to look impressed.

When the sandwiches were finally done, I plated two of them, cut them and handed them off to the kids.

"Don't worry," I told Lucas. "I didn't poison it." I winked at Erica after I said it and she grinned madly.

Lucas looked even warier now, but after Erica took a huge bite, he tried it. I watched as he contemplated it before he took a bigger bite. His eyes widened and in nearly two seconds both of them were asking for more.

"I told you!" Erica said. Lucas just stuck his tongue out at her.

I rolled my eyes. Children were children no matter what universe it seemed. I turned back to the counter to make more.

"Why do you want to be called Kate?" Erica was watching me carefully as she asked.

"It's complicated," I said. "I'm hoping to one day go to Nashville, be a star. I figured I needed a pseudonym. Like...a fake name for all my fans to call me. That way Tammy, my real name, can just stay for my family and my friends. But right now I need everyone to call me Kate so I get used to it. Get it?"

"I guess," Erica made a face. "If I changed my name it wouldn't be to something boring like Kate."

"You should change it," Lucas called out. "To Butthole Loser" Erica glared at him.

"You should change yours! To Nerd Fartface!" Both the kids scowled at each other.

I held up the spatula. "If that's how you're gonna act, I'm eating these two sandwiches myself." All traces of the mean expressions vanished. "There's nothing wrong with either of your names. Lucas, every time someone hears your name, they probably all think of Geroge Lucas, creator of Star Wars. That's pretty cool. And Erica, well...you can't have America without Erica, right?"

Erica's eyes lit up and Lucas groaned. I tried not to laugh. The kids were hilarious, but Erica's sass was great. I hoped she kept it as she got older. It would serve her well.

* * *

After we ate, I sat at the dining room table and pulled out homework. Erica weirdly enough followed suit and Lucas grudgingly joined us. He kept looking between us suspiciously and I wondered if he thought we were up to something. Or at least, his sister was.

I wrote out answers to the English assignment quickly as they were pretty straight forward. It didn't hurt that I had studied the novel we were focusing on before. When I finished, I looked up to see both Erica and Lucas staring at me.

"What?" I asked.

"Are you a genius?" Lucas asked. "That was fast. Incredibly fast."

"No?" I said. "I just knew the answers. It's fairly straight forward as long as you know what the teacher is looking for and you have a grasp on spelling and grammar."

"Um...Okay…" Lucas said.

"Who cares!" Erica snapped at him. "If she's a genius, she's a genius. She doesn't need to be a dumb nerd like you to be smart!"

"I didn't say that!" Lucas snapped back.

"Enough!" I raised my voice loud enough to be heard over both of them. "Get back to work and when we're done, we can watch TV. Whoever is done first, and has it done right, can pick what we watch." I had never seen children do homework faster. I slowed myself down though. I hadn't been paying attention before and I didn't realize they were watching me. I had to be more careful.

* * *

"Hey," I was waiting to see which kid was going to be done first when something occurred to me. "Did you ever convince your parents about Alien?"

Lucas looked up from his homework. "What? The movie?"

"Yeah," I said. Erica was determinedly not looking at her brother and was writing furiously. "Erica tried to convince me to let her watch it last time. Instead, I gave her arguments to present to your parents. I also suggested that you two band together for it. Two against two."

Lucas sent a dark look at his sister. "You never told me that!"

Erica rolled her eyes. "Why would I want to team up with you, _nerd_."

"So we could see Alien!" Lucas held out his hands in front of him like he couldn't understand why. I tried not to laugh.

"It was _my_ idea," Erica said before she finally put down her pencil, lifted her chin and smiled. "Done."

"What?"

"I'm done. I get to pick what we watch." She smiled at him and I motioned for the paper.

"Let me see." I looked over the answers and nodded. "She's right. She wins."

"Come on!" Lucas scowled.

"Finish up and then we'll watch tv."

"Yeah, slowpoke," Erica said. "Mom taped today's My Little Pony. We're watching that." Lucas made a face. I had forgotten how old My Little Pony was.

"Cool," I said. "That's a fun show." Erica's jaw dropped and Lucas looked at me in surprise.

"You watch it?" Lucas asked. I couldn't exactly tell him I went through the entire series when I was in university. I had watched a couple of episodes with a friend who was writing a paper on the popularity and emergence of bronies in a female child-oriented show and ended up watching all of it as I procrastinated on my own paper.

"Gotta watch something when you're sick, right?" It wasn't like Maury or Ricki Lake was on nowadays.

Once Lucas was finished, we made our way to the living room. Erica set everything up. Lucas groaned before leaving to go to his room. I let him. I wasn't going to force a kid to watch something they didn't want to. The music started first before the pictures followed. Once the intro was done, the show started. I recognized it pretty quickly.

"Oh, you'll like this one," I said, settling in to watch it. Erica glanced at me but focused back on the tv. It was easy to get lost in the world of cartoons and Erica was proving hilarious to watch them with. Her commentary was better than I had anticipated.

"Come on! Just stomp him with your hooves! That will save the day!"

When the show was over, it was time for bed. I ushered Erica upstairs to brush her teeth and knocked on Lucas's door. Once reminded of the deal we made, they went to bed without too much of a fuss. Their parents were surprised at the fact that the homework was done and they were asleep by the time they got home.

"You're a miracle worker," Mr. Sinclair told me as he drove me home. "What's your secret? You can tell me. I'll only hold it over my wife." I laughed.

"I don't know," I said. "I just treat them like I treat anyone else." I couldn't very well tell him that bribes, deals and providing arguments against their parents was the key.

**[tbc]**


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: My birthday is next week so I thought I would post this early to celebrate (I say early but I have no timeline on this). I hope you enjoy this and let me know what you think!

**Chapter Nine**

It took all of my patience to ignore the feeling of Carol's death stare on me in the hallway. It felt like she was trying to drive a hole into my skull. Maybe she was. She didn't seem to appreciate the fact that I hadn't gotten into trouble over the gym clothes, or that I had yet to fall down when she occasionally tried to trip me. In the words of the ultimate mean girl of my generation, why was she so obsessed with me?

"Kate!" I turned to see Robin headed towards me. "Hi! What are you doing tonight?"

"I'm meeting up with a friend," I said. I couldn't exactly tell her that the friend was a middle-aged man who was going to introduce me to his girlfriend, so I left it vague. "Why?"

Her face fell slightly. She shrugged. "I have a soccer game after school tonight. I thought I'd ask if you wanted to come. Then we could hang out after."

"Oh," I frowned. "Sorry. I totally would if I didn't have plans. Let me know when your next game is and I'll cheer you on, okay?"

She grinned at me, her cheeks turning a bit red. Did she not have friends who would go to her games? "Sure," she said. "Should I get you pom-poms?"

"Only if you want me to throw them at you." She laughed and we walked down the hall together.

She leaned in slightly as we walked. "You know Carol is giving you the death glare, right?" she told me softly.

"If I haven't caught on fire yet, I think I'll be fine," I said dryly. Robin laughed before we parted ways. If glaring was the worst Carol could do, I wasn't worried.

* * *

"So what does she know?" I walked with Bob from RadioShack. We were headed to the store where his girlfriend worked. It wasn't too busy despite it being the early evening.

"That I'm mentoring you. You came in asking for information about technology and…that's it." he said, giving a small laugh and rubbing the back of his neck.

"Okay," I said. "She didn't ask questions?"

He gave a soft smile. "She trusts me."

"Ugh, you're so in love. I can't wait to meet her."

The store was empty when we walked in except for a woman sitting by the cash register. Her whole face brightened when she saw Bob.

"Hi!"

"Hi," he said, moving quickly towards her to kiss her. "I brought someone to meet you." He moved aside and motioned towards me. I stepped forwards with a smile.

"Hi, I'm Kate and I have heard...so much about you," I said quickly. I wanted to make sure she knew very well that Bob was just a friend. I was sure it looked weird that a grown man was with a teen girl he didn't know.

"I'm Joyce," she said. I could see the wariness in her eyes. "I've only heard a little about you."

"Not surprised," I said. "I know this is weird. I met Bob at Radioshack like a week or so ago. I needed a ton of info on how to create a radio that I could install into a cabinet I'm making in Shop, but I want it to be hidden, like the speakers and everything. Bob has been so helpful and he's been telling me about you since he showed me the first radio. He's so obviously in love with you, it's super cute." I couldn't help but smile as I watched her blush. She was clearly so into him that I wasn't sure I could handle the two of them. "And it's reciprocated!" I held out my hand to Bob for a high five. "Way to go! You guys are too adorable." I really needed to stop talking.

"Thank you?" Joyce said, sending a questioning look at Bob. "Wait, Shop? You're the girl who takes Shop class."

"My reputation precedes me," I said. Who on earth was her son? God, I hoped it wasn't Tommy.

"Yes. Jonathan, my son, told me about you. Said you seemed fearless."

"Oh! Jonathan! Yeah, I sit next to him in Shop. We haven't talked much, but he has a good sense of humour. I'm guessing that's from you?"

"I hope so," Joyce smiled and it was the first real smile that she gave me. "I try."

I grinned at her. "That's all you can do." I looked at Bob and motioned for him to move. "Can you give us a minute?"

He raised his eyebrows in surprise but nodded. After smiling at Joyce he walked down an aisle. I moved closer to Jyoce. I didn't want Bob to hear us, especially since I was certain he wouldn't understand. Joyce stood up as I got to her. I was not expecting her to be so tiny. Oh my god. She was adorable. I made a mental note not to say that out loud. All traces of her smile was gone now.

"Hey," I said. "I just wanted to clear things up. I am totally not into Bob if that's what you're worried about." She blinked at me, looking surprised. "I mean seriously, he's totally way too old, ew, and while he is possibly the nicest guy I've ever met, he's so in love with you that I don't think anyone could compete if they tried. I want you to know that I am a million percent on Team Boyce, okay?"

"Boyce?" she asked, her face scrunched up in confusion. It was a wonder she didn't have more guys following her in her tracks.

"Yeah," I said, "like Bob and Joyce, mixed together. It's like...a thing when people are super compatible. Like, the best type of couples."

Joyce looked away and turned red. "Okay, yeah, sure." She looked at me and smiled. "Thank you for telling me. And if you don't mind me asking, why are you still hanging around him?"

I shrugged. I couldn't tell him the truth. "Aside from the fact that I still have this radio and cabinet to built, he's a nice guy. I mean, I have my dad and all, but do you know the boys at my school? They're idiots, and it's nice to just spend time with people who aren't trying to get into your pants or have a girlfriend who's gonna get jealous and are just genuine. Nobody's really genuine anymore."

She smiled softly and looked a little concerned. "Are you okay?"

I exhaled sharply. That was a loaded question. "Yeah, I just have a lot going on. Thanks." I looked down the aisle where Bob was waiting patiently, before turning to smile at Joyce. "I'm gonna go, you guys have some time together. The night is young." I winked at her and she actually laughed. "Bye Bob! I'll see you later!" I waved at him before heading out. "Have fun!" I sang as I left.

* * *

The goggles I had not only blocked sawdust but the sight of Tommy making lewd gestures. Ignoring him seemed to be working, and pissing him off more. He didn't like to be ignored. I focused on the wood I was cutting. After my conversation with Joyce and the fast excuse I made about Bob, I realised I now actually had to make a cabinet. After all, if Joyce asked Jonathan about Shop, and me, I needed the proof I was telling the truth. Even if I wasn't. It was going to be the truth now.

I pulled the slab of wood away from the saw, turned it off and put it on the table to measure it. The cabinet was going to be small, but large enough I could hold a record player in it...along with the radio and speakers.

"Hey, Tammy?" I looked up at the unfamiliar voice. "I mean, Kate, right?" I pushed the goggles to the top of my head so I could see them clearly.

The guy standing by the table was shifting a little nervously. I didn't recognize him, but I knew enough to know he wasn't one of the guys who stood near Tommy all the time.

"Yeah?"

"It's Carl...Carl Jenkins," he smiled. I nodded back, waiting for him to get to the point. "Look, uh, I was just wondering, because you know I haven't heard anything and if it's not too late and you don't already have a date, I mean, if you do I understand but...would you like to go to Homecoming with me?"

What the fuck was Homecoming?

* * *

Homecoming, it turned out, was a dance. Like semi-formal, except earlier in the year. It was meant to celebrate the first home game of the football season. Somehow, in the stress of everything that had happened, I had missed all the signs posted around the school and the people talking about it. I told Carl I'd give him an answer by the end of the day. He smiled and said he'd find me. I wanted to say no off the bat. It was weird. I knew logically that the body I was in, Tammy, was his age...but I wasn't. Not mentally, at least. At the same time, I was pretty sure that Tammy not going to Homecoming would be noticed. She was maybe in the middle of the social standing of school and it was likely going to be noticable if I never showed up. I had to figure out what I was going to do.

"Oh my god, Tammy!" I looked up to see Ally headed my way. If I was truthful, I was avoiding her a bit. Partly because she still kept calling me Tammy despite my asking her to call me Kate. "Did I hear this correctly? Did Carl Jenkins ask you to homecoming?"

"Yes?" I didn't see how this was a big deal. Then again, I still had no idea who Carl was. Socially speaking.

"What did you say?"

"Nothing yet, why?"

"What are you going to say?" she seemed very insistent on an answer. It made me feel like I was missing something.

"I don't know, yes? It's just a dance."

Ally's jaw dropped. Semi-Formal had only sort of been a big deal to some people. Prom was the thing that everyone went to. Which reminded me, I had to go to Prom all over again. Maybe it was all different in the States.

"It's not just a dance. It's the complete start of the social season for the year! Who you go with is a huge deal!" She gave me a once over, looking contemplative before she finally shrugged. "You know what, you could do worse. Carl's not bad, I guess, for you."

I sighed. Outside of not remembering my name, I also had avoided her because of things like this. I stared at her. "You're being a bitch again."

She looked shocked before she scowled at me. "Oh my god, bite me." She turned and I got a mouthful of hair and hairspray as she did it. I watched her walk away. Good riddance.

Carl was pretty pleased that I agreed to go with him. He promised to pick me up before the dance and told me to let him know what I was wearing so we didn't clash. I agreed and went home, my thoughts on one thing. I didn't know if Tammy had a dress.

I did the only thing I could think of. As soon as I got home, I called for her mother.

"Mooooom!" Buster started barking at me as I walked in. "Shut up, Buster!"

She came out of the kitchen, looking confused. "What? What is it?" She looked me over before she realised there was nothing physically wrong.

"I need a dress for Homecoming!" I said. I put down my stuff before I headed towards her. "I got asked today by Carl Jenkins and I said yes. So...I need a dress."

She grinned at me. "Did you? That's great! What about the dresses you already have?" I had no idea if Tammy did or not.

"I...don't know. Do you think they'll suit?"

"Only one way to find out," she said. I took her advice and headed upstairs. The dresses Tammy had were a little terrible: large puffed sleeves, strange ruffles and one was even velvet. The only thing about all of them was that they didn't fit right. It made me wonder how old they were and if Tammy had grown more before I showed up.

I took up the issue at dinner when Tammy's mother asked me about it.

"They don't fit. One was supposed to be floor length and comes up past my ankles. The others wont...they won't close." I shrugged. It wasn't the first time it had happened to me.

"When is homecoming?" her father asked.

"Um...next week?" I gave a wry smile as both of her parents looked at each other.

"Then I guess we're going shopping," her mother said. She smiled widely at me. "We can have a girls day!"

I smiled back. My last girl's day was with my actual mother. "Sounds great," I said, and I hoped it was. For both our sakes.

Tammy's mother drove us out of the town, to the nearest city. We blasted music as we drove.

"Is everything alright?" her mother asked me. I turned away from the window to look at her.

"Yeah, why?"

"You're not singing along to the music."

Oh no. Despite all my efforts in concealing myself in Tammy, I still hadn't stepped up to singing as often as she did. It was like Tammy lived in a musical all by herself. At least, that's what it was starting to seem like.

"I just...haven't warmed up," I said. "I'm waiting for the right song." I honestly didn't have an excuse. I smiled at her mother and started moving my mouth, stretching out muscles before going through the few vocal exercises I remembered from school. I fell into the "la la la la la" from Sister Act Two.

"Oh! It's your favourite song!" Tammy's mother turned the volume up. I stared at the radio. I had never even heard this song before. Oh my god. Oh my god. How was I going to do this?

I hummed along as well as I could, trying to pick up the lyrics quickly. Tammy's mother looked concerned at me. The register on this song was high, and if she sang it often, it was a wonder her parents had ears left. That was a cruel thought, but I couldn't help it. I sang it as well as I could, in a register more acceptable for Tammy's voice. Her mother was still looking at me concerned.

"Are you trying something new?" she asked.

"Yeah, actually," I said. "I thought I'd practice a different register. Got to try my skills at everything, right? I just...haven't tried it with this song yet." She was still looking at me like she didn't know me. I had to change the subject. Get her on a different track. What did moms want to talk about with their kids when they were in highschool? It had been way too long. I settled for something I always talked to my mom about. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Of course, honey."

"What were your friends like in high school? Like, did you and your friends stay friends all through high school? Are you still friends?"

"Is this about Ally?" she asked. I shrugged, unsure of how to answer. She took that as an answer. "Honey, friendships are hard, especially in high school. People grow up and sometimes they grow apart. There's nothing wrong with that. It's okay if you grow in separate directions. I had friends I grew up with and loved, and we didn't stay friends. It happens. You'll make new friends. Like...Robin, right?"

I smiled at her. She was trying hard. "Yeah. Robin's good people. She's kind, way more kind than Ally is. I don't know what's up with her, but she's kind of mean to me."

"Ally?"

"Yeah. And I'm tired of it. That's why I didn't invite her over with Robin. I didn't want to referee a fight."

"A fight between her and you or her and Robin?"

"Probably me and her. She won't even call me Kate even though I asked. Repeatedly." Her mother took an exit off the freeway.

"That does sound like you're growing apart. There's nothing wrong with that. Especially if she's being a bitch."

"Mom!" I couldn't stop myself from laughing. That definitely wasn't the reaction I was expecting from Deanna.

"What? It's true!"

I laughed harder. Tammy had a good mom. I hoped she appreciated her because I was definitely really starting to.

* * *

The fashions were atrocious. I stared at a dress that had giant puffed sleeves. There was no way I could wear that. Not without laughing at myself every time I caught my reflection.

"What are you thinking of?"

I looked at Tammy's mother. "I don't know. I want something that suits me."

"You could always try something like this." She held out a dress. It was floor length and almost skin tight. It was a pale purple. It was actually pretty nice. "You know, something more flattering. You could change it up this year."

I had seen the dresses in Tammy's closet. They were more suited to my actual body type. Tammy had a few things that really flattered her both in style and colour. "Okay, sure." I said. "Let's try it all."

We surprisingly had a good time. I tried on different styles of dresses. Some that seemed so outrageous that I couldn't help but laugh at my reflection. It was weird seeing myself as Tammy. I stared at Tammy for a long time. What had happened to her? What had happened to me? I felt my chest clench as I stared in the mirror. This wasn't me. I would have never worn or felt that I fit well into a slinky dress. But here I was. Wearing a light silver one.

"Tammy?"

I shoved my morose thoughts out of my head as well as I could. I swallowed the lump in my throat before opening the dressing room door. "What do you think?" I asked.

Tammy's mother smiled at me. "You look beautiful." I forced a smile back.

"Let's get it then."

We had the dress over her arm, and as Tammy's mom headed to the cash register, I wandered the clothes racks. A lot of the styles were weird, but oddly enough I found a few things in my style. Tighter jeans that Tammy didn't have. Some t-shirts and nicer blouses. I needed to go shopping and find Tammy a style that would actually work for her.

"See something you like?"

I looked over my shoulder at Deanna. "Maybe. I feel like I need to change things up a bit."

"With new clothes?" With new everything. I didn't say that though. I shrugged, leaving it open to interpretation. Tammy's mother smiled at me. "Well, where should we start?"

Admittedly we went a little overboard. Tammy's mother got into the whole idea of remaking ourselves and even shopped a bit for herself. I had never spent so long in a mall in years. It was nice. It almost felt like being home in a weird way. It was a strange feeling and on the drive back, it almost felt like I wasn't really there. Like I was going through the motions, singing songs and joking with Deanna, without actively being present. It was strange. It felt like I wasn't real, like it wasn't actually me, but...there was no one else.

Tammy's father looked like he was going to have a heart attack as he watched us unload our bags. Deanna smiled at him though and started talking rapidly about our day and I watched as his shock faded and he looked between us with relief. Maybe he thought Tammy and her were rebuilding their bridges, maintaining the relationship they had between them. I wished it was true.

"I'm going to go up and put my stuff away," I called out to her parents. They were talking quietly to themselves, smiling softly and looking as in love as I imagined they were when they first started dating. "I'm also going to make a pile of stuff to throw out, okay?" They didn't react and I left them to each other.

I had to force myself to actually do what I said I was going to do. I felt like lying down, curling up into bed and sleeping until I felt like myself again. If I did that though, I knew I wouldn't get up until I absolutely had to. Honestly, it felt like I was procrastinating on admitting that I was feeling like shit again.

I went through the closet slowly. We hadn't bought too much, just a couple staple items that I felt needed to be updated and some pieces that were very eighties but they were funky and cool. Some of the patterns were insane and I was beginning to love it. It all just felt fun. Even the music felt like it was more upbeat and fun than a lot of things from my time. I turned up the radio, trying to burn the sadness from me with the music. I forced myself to dance and sing as I sorted and organized clothes. By the end of it, it almost felt like I wasn't faking it as much. I definitely felt a little productive too. The clothes that had to be thrown out, including some ridiculously oversized sweaters, some animal print and some bell-bottom jeans, all went into a plastic bag. The closet itself was organized by colour, style and seasons.

I fell back on the bed and stared at the ceiling. Tammy had little lights and posters on her ceiling like she would lay back on it and stare, planning her future, or at least her daydreams. Where was she? Was she living my life in the city? Was she freaking out or did she reach out to my friends, asking for help and clarification? Was she dead? Was I?

**[tbc]**


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: This was fun. Especially since we don't do things like Homecoming in Canada. Thank you always to Ellie who helped me with this. As always, let me know what you think.

**Chapter Ten**

Homecoming felt like it crept up on me suddenly. I hadn't noticed it at all until Carl asked me and suddenly it felt like it was everywhere. Before I even realized it, Carl was asking for my address. I stared at the mirror in Tammy's room. How this girl even managed her hair was a mystery. I combed it as well as I could. I learnt very quickly when I first arrived that brushing it made it frizz out enormously. I was a little thankful Indiana wasn't very humid.

Doing Tammy's makeup was a whole other trial. I was naturally very dark-featured. I used a lot of black eyeliner and red lipstick. I couldn't do that now. I had to find a balance of highlighting her features while using eighties-style makeup. I based it a lot on what I had seen girls at the school wearing. I kept it simple but added sparkles on the edge of the eyes. It was fun because I could go as extravagant as I wanted and I knew no one would really say anything. It also helped to know that social media wasn't a thing now.

"Tammy! Carl is here!"

I stood up, shimmed the dress back into place, and headed down. Carl was waiting by the door, having what looked like a one-sided conversation with Tammy's father. Carl looked nervous. It was a little entertaining. He also looked as young as he was. I tried not to think about it. I didn't want to make this super weird.

"Hey!" I said as he saw me. "Ready?"

"Yeah," he said. "You look great!"

I grinned at him. "Thank you. You're not so bad yourself." He gave a small bow in return. It was a little ridiculous and I tried not to laugh. I turned to Tammy's parents. "Well?"

Deanna came up to me and hugged me tightly. "You look beautiful." I smiled. "Let me get a picture!"

"What?"

Deanna could not be swayed. She took a couple of pictures with a polaroid camera of Carl and me. I posed as instructed before I made a face. "Okay, I get it," she finally said. "Go, have fun!"

"Not too much fun," her father said. "Make sure you have her home by ten." Both Deanna and I looked at him. "Fine," he sighed. "Eleven." I grinned at him before hugging him.

"Thank you."

We were waved off and they watched as we climbed into Carl's car. It was an old Pontiac. Well, maybe not that old now.

"Sorry about that," I said once he started driving.

"Don't worry about it," he said. "It's nice. Besides, you should have pictures of you. You look very bodacious."

I tried not to snort in amusement. "Alright. Ready to party?"

"Always." 

* * *

Homecoming was more than I expected. My prom hadn't been anything special. A dance at a hotel that was decorated with a DJ and a night that ended in someone's backyard. This was already more than that. The dresses were all different styles and some of the people were dressed more casually than others.

"Shall we?" Carl asked, holding out his arm. I grinned at him. He seemed to be in good spirits and I hoped it would continue through the night. I linked my arm through his.

"Lead the way, good sir."

We ended up sitting with some of his friends to whom I was quickly introduced to, including another Tommy. This one was a Tommy B. I assumed it had been that way since they all started school. Tommy B just got lucky that his last name was first, so he got known as just Tommy while the dickhead got referred to by his first name and last initial. Maybe that was part of the attention-seeking problem he had. I pushed the thought out of my mind. I had no desire to psychoanalyze anyone tonight.

"Can you believe we lost?"

"It's so fucking ridiculous!"

"I know! We had them in the last half! If defence had actually done their fucking job, that last tackle would have never happened!" (i don't know much about football tbh lol)

I turned out the conversation. Carl was talking about the home game with Tommy B and his other friend Greg. I had had little interest in sports before and that hadn't changed. I looked out at the dance floor and the few people out there dancing. The music was blasting and some people looked like they were having fun while others were standing around talking or in some instances arguing. I turned to Carl and touched his shoulder. It pulled his attention to me.

"Hey, wanna dance?"

He smiled at me and nodded. "Boys, a man's job is never done."

"In that case," I teased, "I hope you have the moves to back up that comment." His friends all "oooh"ed in response and he led me to the floor. There weren't many people dancing but I refused to think about it. It was time to have fun.

Carl was a decent dancer. He wasn't afraid to be a little ridiculous which made it enjoyable. We spun around the room and I grabbed some people's hands as we passed by to pull them to dance with us. At one point I left Carl to his conversations and headed to the line of so-called wallflowers. I asked them if they wanted to dance in a group with me. I had been that person before, watching others and wanting to join in but not doing so out of fear you'll be embarrassed.

"It doesn't matter," I told one group of girls. "It's just a dance and we'll all be together. Let's just have fun. If you make a mistake, then you make a mistake. No one really cares and those who do, don't matter. Come on, who's in? If we all go together, we'll outnumber anyone who tries to make fun of us."

Despite the few protests that I got, many of them followed me. We danced in a large group and as more songs passed, people started to relax. Carl at one point showed up and dragged some of his friends and their dates with them. I tried to do some ridiculous dance move that almost made me fall and had everyone laughing. I shrugged it off. The dress was not made for really funky dance moves.

The group finally disbanded when a slow song came on. Some of the people paired off, including some of the previous wallflowers.

"You're making quite the impression," Carl said as we swayed together. I could barely remember the last time I slow danced with a boy. Maybe at a cousin's wedding?

"What do you mean?"

"You seem to be having the most fun out of everyone, and you did just have a huge group of people dancing with you."

I shrugged and gave him a smile. "We're at a dance. Why not have fun? Sure, dancing can be embarrassing, but if you just laugh it off, few people remember it and you move on. Not everyone wants to dance and that's fine, but I like to and I figure why not give others the opportunity to join in." He stared at me for a moment before shaking his head lightly.

"You're something else, Kate." He had no idea. 

* * *

I was washing my hands when I noticed the girl crying.

"Are you alright?" I asked, drying my hands quickly before heading towards her.

"Bangin'," she replied. "I just, god, I'm so fucking sick of the stupid football game. Like, I get it, we lost, that doesn't mean you have to be an asshole about it." She blew her nose into the tissue she had. "I'm sorry."

"No," I said softly. "It's cool. You want to talk about it?"

"Ugh, gag me out, I'm going to break up with him. Like what does he think this is, the dark ages?"

"Yeah, if he can't respect you, and give you the decency to be with you at a dance, and not be a jerk, then move on. Find someone who won't treat you like crap."

She wiped her eyes and smiled at me. "Thank you! You're like, some totally glam angel. You're the only one giving good advice."

I shrugged. All I did was tell her not to waste her time on a guy who sounded like he didn't appreciate her, or at least, they weren't communicating it.

"Oh my god!" I tried not to sigh as I recognized the voice behind me. "Are you actually hanging out in a bathroom? Do you not have anything better to do Tamara or do you live here? I'm surprised you showed yourself in an outfit like that. Do you not have any semblance of a style? We're not at prom."

I turned to face Carol, already tired of the interaction before it even started.

"Oh shut up Carol!" the girl who had been crying snapped. "Just because you're a mega-bitch doesn't mean everyone else has to be!" She grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the bathroom, past Carol. I tried not to laugh at the expression on her face. The girl finally stopped once we were in the hallway and not in the dance. "I'm sorry," she said. "She drives me crazy, like nails under my skin."

"I know the feeling," I said. "Here, hold on." I took a kleenex from her and wiped at the eyeliner and mascara under her eyes. "There, you look good."

"Liar," she said. "Thank you, again. I'm Veronica by the way."

"Kate," I said. She was the first person I had introduced myself to only as Kate.

"I know," she said. "Well, I have to break up with my dickweed linebacker of a boyfriend. See you around Kate!" I waved her off and watched her disappear into the dance. I mentally wished her the best of luck before I headed off to find Carl. 

* * *

The drive back to Tammy's house was pretty quiet but in a positive way. We had spent part of it talking but had fallen into a peaceful lull as we got to her house.

"Thank you, Carl," I said, turning towards him. "I had a good time."

"Thank you for accepting! It wouldn't have been nearly as fun if I took someone else."

I grinned at him, accepting the compliment for what it was. "Well, this is me," I said, grabbing my purse.

"Hey Kate," he called out as I went to open the door. I turned back to him.

"Yeah?"

He leaned in a bit closer, watching me carefully. "You want to go out sometime? Not to a dance." He looked a little hopeful, but I shook my head.

"Sorry, Carl," I said. "I'm not really looking to date right now. I'm planning on heading to Nashville and I'm very busy preparing for it. I wouldn't feel right just letting someone fall in love with me and leaving them." I smiled softly, trying to convey my thanks but regrets.

"You think I'd fall in love with you?" he asked teasingly.

"Who wouldn't?" I joked back. "See you around!" I left the car. I knew I did the right thing. Dating a teenager, despite the fact that I was in appearance a teen myself, seemed way too weird. Dating in general was going to be weird. I didn't belong here.

**[tbc]**


End file.
